The story of Sarika Patel and her Bukusu 'darling' Timothy Khamala seized the imagination of the nation, and television, for a while. And read like a tele-novella. Here is the tale told yet again, in the inimitable style of 'Men Only.' Enjoy.
So there is this sex-starved Kenyasian lady 'locked' up in their big mansion, gazing longingly at this muscular or whatever Muluhya gardener through the curtain drapes as he works.
One day, he glances up.
Their eyes lock. Love, or more probably lust, springs eternal within her breast. Her heart beats fast like a mad bird trapped in its cage. Thereafter, they begin daily to exchange long gazes. She is Juliet pressed against the window.
He is Romeo, working the garden.
But what desire brings together, no underwear can render asunder. Risking the wrath of her father, brother and a whole clan of Indians, our Bukusu hero one day sneakszinto her bedroom.
Boom! It's like a 'Mills & Boon' for her.
They elope to his hamlet in Bukusu-land. Her distraught father says she has been kidnapped. They get the media and tell the whole world they are in love, love, love - everyday is like February 14th.
Jungle fever has met masala flavour. Love, like herpes, is forever!
They even get her a job at the county council. The hero is a hero for getting a Patel out of her gilded hell.
But the exotic soon becomes exhausting, and the erotic wears thin as real life economics check in.
She is taking care of baby/babies, his, and soon his first local wife checks into the scene - a one-room scene.
She has a roof over her head, but becomes homesick.
The female is a lady of creature comforts accustomed to.
He becomes sick of her constant complaints - and, trust T, these people can complain and bitch incessantly.
She gives him stick, he doesn't dicker any longer, pun pardon, he perhaps administers a 'Kidero,' ayayaya! She becomes sick, he is so sick of her, he calls her parents to take her to the clinic.
Then he calls her brother to take her away with the parting shot - 'make sure you get married in future.'
She goes away sobbing, saying she regrets not listening to her parents.
Listen, lady, even Esther Arunga regrets not listening to her parents.
But this is Bukusu, not Bollywood.
Everything is kukus, and there are no happy endings.
tonyadamske@yahoo.com