In almost every relationship, if not all, money fights are almost inevitable. Money is one of the biggest issues couples fight about and if not properly handled or addressed, often leads to divorce or separation.
People are different and depending on how they were brought up and taught about money, ideologies are prone to clash and differ.
Before moving in with your better half or settling down, it is important to be on the same page when it comes to money and aligning your financial goals.
Here, we have five steps to help you have a healthy financial relationship with your partner:
Sit down and have the money talk
There is no shortcut when it comes to money. You both have to sit down and talk about your financial goals, expectations and even fears.
This is also one of the ways you will know someone’s true colours. Money has a way of bringing out the best and the worst in people.
This step in most relationships is ignored, assuming it is common sense as adults. When in the real sense people have different ideas when it comes to spending and investing their money some can be very personal and deeply rooted.
Talk to your partner and ensure to reach common ground with issues that will need both of you to chip in so that both parties are happy.
Talking about finances can sometimes be uncomfortable and it is important to normalize these talks as much as possible.
Be assertive not emotional
It is more than likely that money will cause fights with your partner, and it is important to stay objective when confronting each other.
In most cases, some of this issues are stemmed back to their childhood and getting rid of a habit may take time. Do not be hurt or easily angered when your partner makes a financial decision without you or worse a mistake.
When solving these issues, make them about the money and do not blame or be negatively critical with them or trying to justify how much they disrespect you.
Most couples blow issues out of their proportions and this can lead to a bigger unnecessary fights.
If you are the person being approached, try not to take it as an attack. Your partner will only want what is best for your relationship.
Develop a system that works for both of you
When it comes to money, it is not something that can be resolved by simply telling your partner to leave the toilet seat down and hope they remember.
You need to come up with a financial system that works for both of you. This way you don’t unnecessarily step on each other’s toes.
For instance, if you both decide to have a joint account or individual accounts and each month you contribute your shares to the running of the house.
The easiest way for a financial system to work is by coming up with a budget. A budget will stipulate how much is needed from both of you to run the house, your savings and for personal use.
Without a working budget, one party might feel overwhelmed running the house alone and this might spike a fight.
Have weekly financial meetings
Talking money as established before can be very uncomfortable, especially for two people who are used to their independence and doing things the way they want.
Instead of having the monthly money talks which must happen, normalize these money talks and have them at least weekly or biweekly. These meetings should be about taking stock and solving any issue that might be pending. The thing about issues, is that when you bottle them up they eventually blow up in your face.
This meetings can also be useful in realigning unrealistic financial goals that are proving difficult to achieve.
Also, not only will you solve money problems during these sessions, they can also be used to solve other relationship problems that may lack a platform of expression. Communication is key.
Honesty is the best policy
Above everything, be honest and transparent with your partner. If you have a problem with handling your finances or a debt, instead of creating excuses and acting shifty around your partner, be straightforward and tell them about it. It will cost you nothing to ask for their help if you truly need it.
Remember, you are a team and whatever goes right or wrong, lifts both of you or hurts both of you respectively.
Do not lie about money and be transparent when it comes to your financial goals and dreams. Encourage one another and put your focus on finding solutions and not putting blame.
International Literacy Day is coming up. When was the last time you read a book?