Lillian Wangeci is a paediatric doctor and was always sure she wanted to finish medical school first and get a job before she got married. To her, academic achievements took top priority.
"I met a lot of nice men in medical school but nothing came out of it because my career was not where I wanted it to be. I probably would have married that nice man I met in my Second Year at university. I wonder how different my life would have been," says Lilian.
She says that as much as marriage should in most cases be driven by love, love is never enough as there are other factors for a woman to consider when settling down with a man.
"I am 53 years old and have met a lot of men. I can tell you from experience his past does not matter, especially if the past was inevitable. Just because someone grew up in an abusive home does not mean they will abuse you. I know some very messed up people who had happy childhoods.
"When I met my first husband, he had the perfect childhood and was learned, yet our marriage still failed. That is when I learned that what matters is the person in front of you now," Lillian says.
Now one month into marriage, Maggie Wambui says her ultimate goal is to be a professor. She says having a defined career prospect first was important to her.
"I found it satisfying and self-fulfilling that I would have certain skills before I settled down. With a career, I was able to make some informed decisions when it to comes to accepting family obligations later on. I want to get my PhD and the continuity of my studies and career is important to me, so much so that I would be keen on getting a partner who would support this process.
Together with her love, Maggie is in paleo-sciences, a field that involves a lot of travelling. This too (travelling) was a point of reference when she was thinking of who to choose for a partner.
"His job was an important factor. This field sometimes involves two to three months in the field, lots of travelling both locally and internationally and attending annual conferences. I have been through this so I can understand and accommodate the dynamics. I was also looking for someone who understood my career and the demands that come with it," she says.
Susan Mueni is a director at a school her husband owns and unlike the other women, having a career first was never very important to her before she got married.
"I wanted to be a housewife and my husband was okay with it. He was a teacher at the time and when he decided to open a school, I helped him and now I am helping him run the school. He helped me realise my potential, helped me go back to school and I am glad to be the woman I am now," says Susan.
For her, his career choice was not that important as long as he was making a living.
"My father was a farmer and he opened up a kiosk for my mother. I come from a humble background and my parents still managed to give us everything we needed. So it did not matter if he was a cobbler or a doctor, as long as he made an honest living," she says.
Most of the women I talked to did not want to marry too far from their tribe because of differences in culture and traditions.
"He could have come from any tribe and religion as long as their cultures and traditions were not so different from mine," says Lillian.
Maggie wanted someone from her tribe and religion because it made communication easy; there would be similar family traditional rituals and similar child naming systems.
"I wanted to experience love with someone whose language and practices I am familiar with," she says.
Maria however found herself so in love at the time she got married that tribe did not matter.
"Religion was a huge issue to me even in dating. It mattered seeing that my dad is a pastor; I had to bring in a God-serving man, "she said.
Women are notorious list takers and whether it is a physical or mental one, they almost all have a list of things they are looking for in a partner.
The common themes border around personality traits like someone trustworthy, honest, hard-working, loyal and all those essential qualities.
Other everyday things on the list were must-have factors like nationality and relationship with the in-laws.
Ironically, Maria says her husband met almost none of her expectations, was not her type and now he is her dream man. That took a lot of work with a lot of love.
Lillian says the list is important when it comes to moral and personal attributes but there is a need for flexibility and room for compromise when it comes to marriage.
Having gotten divorced five years into her marriage and now happily married to her second husband, Lillian says women may not always get what they are looking for in a man and that should not be a license to dismiss a possible suitor. She says that even with a list to tick, it is important to note that nobody is perfect.
"All the things that were important to me stayed the same, including our careers, his religion. But there are things I have had to compromise on; on paper, my first husband was perfect but I am happier now," Lillian says.