Collaboration
Mary Munene, an author and Christian Blogger (Facebook Page: Marriage Chronicles by John & Mary Munene) defines gentle parenting as: " A parenting style that puts the child at almost the same pedestal as the parents, centering itself on collaboration between parents and children. It does not compel the children to do anything harshly, but seeks to understand the child's perspective too."
When asked how practical the parenting approach is based on her experience as a parent, she says: "Most of us grew up with authoritative parents. While we turned out alright, I feel that we missed a huge part of the growth in how we relay our emotions. For most people, the emotional intelligence quotient falls short. Undeniably, this was hugely impacted by upbringing."
"I believe that gentle parenting can be a practical approach but not in its entirety. If it is permissive and enabling, then it might not yield good results.
"Parenting does not have a manual, and parents should explore what works to produce wholesome children. We need balanced children. Children who understand the impact of what they do to others, and the consequences of their choices," says the IT practitioner.
Mary, a wife and mother, says the philosophy of giving your children everything is disadvantageous to your child.
"We all want to give our children the best that life can offer. However, every parent needs to remember that their children will be spouses, and parents someday. We cannot shield our children from all the uncertainties of this world.
"It is therefore important to groom children who not only excel in school but children who can have emotional and social balance," she says.
"They are clay in your hands. Instil in them virtues that would help them navigate the world's harsh terrain, but be vulnerable enough to let them in your world. That way, they will learn that all is not always rosy. We need to teach our children delayed gratification."
Mary says gentle parenting can be dangerous if embraced wholly, and that authoritative parents can breed co-dependent children.
"The passive type of parenting can breed children who are overt in attention seeking. A gentle type of parenting can be dangerous if it is permissive and enabling.
"It can also be a challenge in setting firm boundaries for children who see their parents as collaborators and not a God-given authority over their lives. You can set healthy boundaries for your child. You can groom them to be whole, and you can do all that while still instilling discipline in them," she says.
Mary says that as a child gets older a parent's authority over a child should change.
"Parents should exercise a type of authority over their children's lives that diminish over time. As a child matures and their relationship evolves, the authority moves from obedience to honour. It is not unalterable, but a shifting role," she says.