An average man's love language is care and affection. Much as affection is relative, we all know a typical modern relationship means good money and a good time being spent, and a man in love will always express his affection by giving.
Giving here simply means spending on the woman he is in love with. Men are givers, generally and if he loves, he won't find it hard to get his woman gifts and spend with her and on her.
However, a man only spends where his heart is. Si it's even in the holy book, no? We have had this conversation about how men are stingy and stuff, but believe you me, there's no stingy man on these streets.
A man in love will go out of his way to fulfil his woman's desires, however little. If he doesn't, then he is just not in love, or he is truly breaking and doesn't have the money to spend on his woman.
Much as love should never be measured in terms of how much money one gives the other, we all know that a man's idea of love is making his woman feel wanted and comfortable, and comfort doesn't come without spending.
So when he is unwilling to talk about or take you to places where you two can have a good time on his budget, sis, Benjamin doesn't love you like he says he does.
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His heart is somewhere else.
Women should be financially independent. And they actually are. So if a woman can spend Sh3,000 to buy lipstick and get herself a pair of six- inch stilettos at Sh5,700, why would she settle and make herself comfortable with a man who doesn't want to spend just Sh2,700 on black coffee and lemon cookies? Love is giving, naturally, willingly and unconsciously. Most men would agree to spending a lot more on women they value and have respect for.
Even if he doesn't have, he'll go out of his way to hustle hard for love. Men who sit back and get fed by women in their lives, or who let their women win bread in their homes and proudly talk about it, are not in love! If he let's you pay bills, or gives the idea of splitting bills, there's no love. That's nothing close to love!
If there's something as realistic about a man when it comes to where his heart has settled, it is about how he treats his woman. He will pay for staycations out of town, buy designer handbags and expensive jewellery for her, even queue for hours to buy her favorite pastries.
He wouldn't mind a few random dates within the week. Flowers and bars of chocolates on her special days.
A man who wants to live on a budget with his woman doesn't really love her. Who will always call her at his for sleepovers to eat ugali omena and drink kanjo water for the whole weekend, laughing at his stupid jokes, so he doesn't have to pay for coffee and movie tickets.
He prefers buying a quarter kg of meat and sukuma wiki and avocado of 20 bob. That's not cutting down costs, there's simply no love.
Babe, that man you're dating who doesn't take you out for dates is not stingy. He just doesn't love you. You'd be surprised to realize that there's some Jane that he often sends money to, without a question.
He pays for her manicure and pedis, pays her Netflix and often sends flowers and chocolates to her workplace. You're not worth his money, because if you were, he'd be generous with his wallet.
If dude has good money but never spends on you, he only comes over at yours with a bottle of whisky for Netflix and chill, you're not the one.
If your love is only brewed behind closed doors because he is saving for a future that you might not even be part of, smell the coffee, stand up and leave.
A man who loves you will ask you to pick a nice dress, smell nice, take you out on dates, spend, show you places, things and allow people to serve you. That's a man's idea of love.