What was intriguing was the fact that we were not talking about the financial fitness of our marriage, but on the question of whether each of us was a liability or asset to each other.
We had just attended a funeral of a friend’s husband who had been a tyrant throughout the course of their marriage and as we were reflecting on their relationship that evening, the question on our mind was whether his demise would actually improve her life or diminish it.
In summary, now that he was absent, her life was free of physical and verbal assault, risk of all types of venereal diseases due to his immoral activities, a better balance sheet as he was no longer draining their finances on gambling, alcohol and repayment of debts, apart from continual garage visits to repair the vehicle due to his reckless driving, not forgetting hospital bills for the myriad times he had to get treatment for his injuries caused by his lifestyle.
Likeable guy
“Can you think of a good side to him?” I asked my husband.
“Well, he was a happy and generous guy…uhhmm…when he was sober and thinking straight,” he answered.
I had to agree on that one as our departed friend was a very likeable guy and his wife had always lamented the fact that she rarely saw this side of him that had in fact drawn her to him.
But it was a side that never overcame his vices. He had been a horrible husband to his wife for many years.
And this then led to us asking each other what would qualify a spouse to be an asset or a liability to the other.
You are a liability to your spouse if the thought of you brings an instant frown to their face and an ache in their heart. On the other hand, you are an asset if you bring a smile, a glow and a quickening of the heart when you come to mind. Are you a weight or a lift to your spouse?
Receiver’s Attitude
We both agreed in the course of a marriage, it is easy to be a liability when you put your interests before your spouse’s. This will always happen when you assume a receiver’s attitude rather than a giver’s. Are you in it for what you are getting from him or for what you are giving him?
The answer will tell you whether you are a liability or an asset, because liabilities always demand and always take, while assets always yield a return and always give.
Liabilities carry a threat in the event of default. For instance if you default on your mortgage, your house can be sold. Assets always appreciate in value.
Likewise, if you are a threat to your spouse in whatever way, physical harm, finishing the family’s savings-you are one big liability to her. You are a great asset when you are appreciative of your spouse and value and esteem them, that she knows she is a befitting queen!