I have been in a relationship with this guy for three years. Our love has blossomed and we are happy. He has, however, not proposed to me despite the fact that he has been to my home several times and my family members like him. I think he is taking time to propose to me because I have a daughter from a previous relationship.
I am sure he wants to marry me but he is scared because of my daughter. We are both ready for marriage but I need your advice on what I can do to get him to marry me. He could be thinking twice about our relationship and I don’t want him to leave me. {Nancy}
Your Take:
Nancy, patience does actually pay and he is indeed showing signs. He could have chosen to stay away from your family and keep the relationship a secret but is seems he has accepted things as they are.
Why don’t you go ahead and propose to him?
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{Aseri Dick}
If you accept yourself as you are then he will have no option but to reciprocate this. Remember, you cannot run away from your shadow and you cannot get rid of your daughter for his sake. Get to know the true opinion of your man about your status before you can decide on the next course of action. Remember there are many good men who may be ready to accept you as you are.
{Tasma Charles}
There is a difference between him wanting to be with you, and him wanting to commit to you. This has nothing to do with the child but the high expectations women place on men who show interest in them. For a man, marriage is a responsibility so they take time before committing to it. It could also be that he is engaged in the process of self-exploration so be patient with him. Don’t force him or give an ultimatum and instead give yourself an ultimatum. Know when to exit the room if you figure the wait will be too long. You don’t have to stop being friends, but draw your boundaries and be upfront with him. Let him know that if he doesn’t know what he wants, then you will need to take your own measures to safeguard your heart.
{Andrew Didy Chaplin}
Men take time to propose to women who have children so it is up to you to make this happen. You have to convince him you have let go of your past and that it is him you want to be with not the father of your daughter. Ask him why he seems not to be sure about your relationship and clarify on any issues he may have. If possible, let him know the father to your daughter. No man wants his wife’s ex-boyfriend knocking at the door to reclaim their children. Sort this out early.
{Fred Jausenge}