Sorry, I'm just a girlfriend not a wife, spare me the donkey work!

I vividly recall a while back being chastised by a certain chap I had only dated for a short time. My reprehensible crime was that whenever I passed by, I never cooked or cleaned his dishes and house. And the thing that irked him the most was the fact that I did not wash his clothes.

Need I remind you that this is a man who has been in my life for not more than two months. A man who didn't even know my middle name or even my real age. Mark you he had not even told me the three magic words "I love you". But here he was somehow feeling like I had short changed him and wasn't treating him right.

As he ranted about it, I really wished it was an April fool's day prank or joke of sorts. But the harsh truth was that it is a very cold January plus the pain on his face as he complained was quite sincere. To him I was not behaving like a girlfriend should. According to him, a girlfriend should break her back and slave like a wife, yet he had not paid dowry. Some men!

Of course I put him in his place and promptly dumped his sorry ass. But for the love of me, I could not get over the fact that this man believed with all his heart that for the price of a girlfriend he was also getting a free mboch or house girl! I mean what else could it be? When you are the girlfriend, but you take it upon yourself to act like a wife and put all your cooking, cleaning and homemaking skills on display, you have yourself to blame if he doesn't put a ring on it.

One thing I have come to notice with most Kenyan men is that they are accustomed to girlfriends who also act like wives. So much so that most single men don't even bother hiring a house girl all they have to do is get a live-in girlfriend or weekend girlfriend to clean up after them.

Look here gentlemen, there is no place in this Nairobi or across the country for that matter where you can get a house girl for free. So every clean cloth or homemade meal should come at a price. Oh yes, there is no such thing as free lunch.

Back in the day the lines were clear on what the role of a wife was and what a girlfriend's were. These days the lines are so blurry as is everything else that benefits men at the expense of women. Well, allow me to bring some clarity, the role of a girlfriend is to look pretty and to be wooed. A wife on the other hand should take care of her husband and cook plus clean, that is if she is not clever enough to hire help!

I see how my friends toil from dawn to dusk when they pay their boyfriends visits. Personally, I vowed never to offer free labour unless someone puts a ring on it. In fact, I have never washed, cooked or cleaned up after any man and I can attest to how it has made my life easy and enjoyable. The moment you start, men always turn you into a slave. I am very proud to say that the only men who has ever tasted my cooking are probably my father and brothers. Yet I am an excellent cook, and a home maker to boot.