Our sister paper The Nairobian highlighted a story on how many high flying corporate women are single, desperate and lonely up there. It alluded to the fact that, in their pursuit for that corner office, these go-getters conquer it all but in the process lose their prospects of finding a husband. Now they are lonely and desperate up the ladder. Though the story is true, it is not necessarily so for all successful and independent women.
My good friend Pauline is single, hotter than the women who act in the Desperate Housewives series; she is in her mid-30s, is a senior manager in a blue chip company, lives in her own apartment in Kilimani and drives a sleek car. She has the option of a company driver, but she opts to drive herself, she goes for holidays in exotic places and shops in the trendiest malls.
Pauline has no boyfriend or husband but is happy, fulfilled and contented. And she has something more precious that gives her untold joy – her adopted child.
It took strong resolve to find her happy place. Pauline, after going through several catastrophic relationships and heartbreaks, in her pursuit to find a husband, decided to just live her life.
"Mama Tasha I am done with looking for any low-life man and sucking up to his nonsense just to make society accept me because I have a man in my life," she tells me. She is done being a people-pleaser and has decided to just live her life.
Her mantra now is, "If a good man comes, he will find me happily enjoying my life. And if he does not, life goes on."
After dealing with her battles of desperately searching for a man, Pauline now cuts an image of a happy, single and successful woman.
She is done waiting for a man to validate her and make her belong. Her daughter has brought so much joy in her life; she is busy building her career and enjoying her life - and there are many Paulines in the society today. Women, who are thriving in their careers, are single and insanely happy. Being married is definitely a good thing. But this notion of society that the union is next to heaven and the only source of happiness and fulfillment to a woman need to go. We all know that marriage can be a source of misery and stress.
We all know women who are in such nasty marriages, they are so lonely and unhappy, and they have every reason to go but have chosen to remain in that prison to save face and for the sake of the children.
A woman can find happiness and fulfillment in this life, with or without a man in her life. Let's not forget that marriage is not an achievement but just a choice. That same marriage can be hell or heaven.