She constantly copies everything I do - she even calls him pet names that I've given him
Dear Coleen
I’ve been married to my husband for the past 10 years and we have a great relationship with each other.
I have a problem with his younger sister, though. She constantly copies what I do – she even calls my hubby pet names that I’ve given him!
I was ill for some time and forced to stay at my in-laws where she is currently living with her husband. When she thought I wasn’t around, I heard her ask what I was doing there and why I hadn’t gone back home yet.
I ignored her, but now she’s being overly friendly and keeps buying things for me, which I don’t want. I know she’s just being two-faced.
My husband and I take a lot of holidays and she’s also been doing this recently. She even tries to dress like me and changes her WhatsApp photo every time we change ours. And although she pretends to like me, she has blocked her brother and I from her account.
I’m sick of her whispering about me and walking in on conversations in which she’s bad-mouthing me. Please help.
Coleen says
To be honest, my initial reaction was to feel very sorry for her. She’s insanely competitive because she’s eaten up with jealousy and insecurity. It’s probably nothing you’ve done but more a case of her being discontent with her own life.
But I know how frustrating and irritating it can be, so maybe the next time you walk into a room and you catch her bad-mouthing you, make a point of saying something like, “Don’t stop talking about me on my account”.
Or if you’re alone with her, just say, “Look, I don’t want to row about this, but have you got a problem with me because sometimes I feel you like me and other times I feel you hate me and I don’t know why?”
She’ll either play dumb and make out she has no idea what you’re talking about or just deny it, but at least she’ll know you’ve cottoned on to what she’s up to.
And you’ll feel better because you will have confronted her in a calm and reasonable manner. It might be enough to get her to calm down.
As for her holidays – why let that bother you? You don’t have to play along with her competitiveness.
As long as she’s not booking a holiday with you, who cares how many holidays she goes on?