What to do if you can't conceive

In our society, marriage is revered. Marriage is a sign of systematic function in our society, Prof. Halimu Shauri, a sociologist says.

But marriage is also intricately connected to propagation of life and the rolling over of generations.

The bearing of a child, just like marriage, is celebrated. It therefore goes without saying that the inability to bear (or sire) a child may attract not only disrespect but scorn as well.

The truth is, Prof Shauri says, we all want to be in society's 'good books'. The shock many people face – especially after matrimony – is the inability to have children.

Mwangeka, Chairperson of Cerebral Palsy Society of Kenya (CPSK) can attest to the fact that stigma can be painful for a childless couple who have had enough time to be with a baby.

If you are planning to have a child you ought to be ready for the possibility that you may not be able to have a child of your own, says Catherine Mbau, a psychologist.

"Sometimes we believe that we are so perfect; that it cannot happen to us. It is therefore expected for someone like that to go into denial when they find out that they too are affected," she says.

Living in denial about infertility may work against the subject because the problem, once detected, can only be remedied by a professional doctor.

"The earlier it is addressed, the better the chance that the situation can be reversed," says Dr Dorcas Muchiri, a resident obstetrician and gynaecologist at the University of Nairobi.

Infertility, Dr Muchiri adds, is not being able to conceive after a year of unprotected sex without contraception. At that point, you (and your partner) should seek medical intervention.