Ten most weird intercourse accidents ever

By Mirror | 9yrs ago | 4 min read

Check out these 10 nasty nookie accidents. Talk about 'unsafe sex'...

Man snaps manhood

Alan perke — *Alan Parke with girlfriend Photo: Courtesy*

After unlucky Alan Parke suffers a penis malfunction we examine the world's weirdest sexual disasters

Passionate Alan Parke hoped to get his girlfriend screaming with pleasure as they enjoyed a romantic night in.

But it was Alan who ended up howling in agony after “breaking” his penis during sex.

"I've never known pain like it,” said Alan, 25, from Donegal, Ireland, after actually hearing his penis snap while romping with partner Clarissa Cairns.

He'd ruptured the tube carrying blood to his erect penis and was bed-bound for two months after the freak accident.

Hicky hazard

A 44-year-old New Zealand woman was necking with her lover in 2011 when he gave her a massive love bite. Two days later she lost the use of her left arm. Doctors were baffled until one noticed the hicky on her neck. It was right over a major artery and the force of the love bite had created a clot which caused a minor stroke. She was treated with anticoagulants and recovered.

Nipple shocker

When Pennsylvania cops responded to an emergency call at a mobile home in 2008 Robert Taylor told them his wife Toby had accidentally electrocuted herself with a hair dryer – and died. When police began doubting the details Taylor admitted he’d electrocuted her while delivering electric shocks via nipple clamps. He was arrested and charged with reckless endangerment and involuntary manslaughter.

Sex with scarecrow

Argentinian shepherd Jose Alberto, 58, died after having sex with a scarecrow dressed in a wig and wearing lipstick and a strap-on sex toy. Police forced their way in after neighbours raised the alarm and discovered his remains with the Wurzel Gummidge-lookalike. Spokesman Rodolfo Moure said: "I initially thought there were two bodies but then I realized one was a scarecrow wearing lipstick and a long-haired wig. It was lying next to the deceased and had a six-inch strap-on penis. There were no signs of violence and we are working on the assumption that the man died during sex with the scarecrow.” Neighbours said Mr. Alberto was seen as a loner.

Lfs and butts

Nigel Willis from Forest Hill, London purchased a vibrating butt plug and inserted it in his bottom. He couldn't remove it but was too embarrassed to confess his problem to his mother, who he lived with, so spent the next five days in agony lying on the couch as it buzzed away inside. A friend eventually begged him to get help, and he was admitted to intensive care on New Year’s Eve 2013. Surgeons managed to remove the vibrator, but he died two months later after failing to recover from his injuries and septic shock.

Condom catastrophe

Gary Ashbrook from East Sussex liked to inflate condoms with massive amounts of nitrous oxide and then put them over his head. In November of 2007, his housemates found him dead on his bed with a condom clinging to his face. He'd used three cans of nitrous to blow the prophylactic up then suffocated while pleasuring himself.

Mammary manslaughter rap

Donna Lange, 51, from Everett, Washington, USA was accused of smothering her boyfriend to death with her enormous breasts during a drunken argument in early 2013. The 5ft 7ins man had allegedly been heard calling “get off” after 14 stone Lange threw herself on top of him in their mobile home. She faced manslaughter charges.

Down the lung way

A doctor in India was mystified when a female patient complained of having had a serious cough, runny nose and fever for over six months. She'd been put on various medications, but nothing seemed to help. Hospital tests then revealed she had a condom lodged inside her lungs which she'd inhaled, without actually realising it, during oral sex.

Kama Sutrarrgghhh!

For her 50th birthday, Russian Valentina Sokolov was given a copy of the Kama Sutra sex manual for her 50th birthday.

Whilst attempting position known as 'The Deck Chair', she and partner Ivan wound up stuck together when she had an involuntary muscle spasm and were unable to disentangle themselves. After two hours they managed to call an ambulance and were taken to hospital and separated.

10. Getting laid a challenge

In 2009 two Moscow women bet randy Sergey Turganov, 28, £2,600 that he'd be unable to sexually satisfy them during a non-stop half-day sex marathon. But Turganov, 28, accepted the bet and then allegedly swallowed an entire bottle of Viagra. He won the bet—but died of a heart attack within minutes.