My wife’s last words - Tedd Josiah

By Too Jared | 3yrs ago | 3 min read

Reginah Katar, a mother-of-one who died from internal bleeding three months into motherhood told her husband, producer and designer Tedd Josiah, to ‘carry their newborn daughter - Jameela Wendo - as she was getting heavy', moments before taking her last breath in October 2017.

Sharing on loss in a moving post on his Instagram account, Josiah stated - in what has become a touching memoir of his love and marriage to Katar, relationship with Wendo and his own life journey - that his wife’s last words provoke thought, especially at a time of immense struggle.

“Impossible to raise you without seeing your mother looking at me through your eyes. Hard to carry you into bed every night (cause you're becoming bigger and heavier) but your mama’s very last words were “please carry the baby she’s getting heavy for me”. Those words play in my head every day that I feel the world is getting hard on us. Still, a mighty long way to go, still a Queen to raise into a loving strong leader... Still a legacy to keep alive. Still love to share. Forever for always for love,” he captioned a photo of his daughter.

Exploring grief and fatherhood in a different post on the platform, he shared that Katar was succumbed to birth-related complications soon after falling ill at around 3am that fateful October morning.

“Friday 7:30 pm dinner at home with mama and Jay Jay she’d cooked rice and chicken and was happy beyond words. Then a movie, as Jay Jay slept between us on the couch. After the film, we went to bed and she’d talked right thru the movie! 3 am as she breastfed she complained that heat head hurt, took meds and threw them up. So we dashed to hospital and she fell asleep and never woke up again,” said Josiah.

“5 am Jay Jay and I sat in my car confused lost and alone. She’d just gone like that. No child should ever be without a mother! No child! My friend u were magic, rest cause every Friday it plays back in my head...But broken crayons still paint so I will paint... What is grief like? Well it’s like the waves of an ocean sometimes they are high sometimes low but you're guaranteed they will hit. What causes them? Memories, jolts of confusion, uncertainty and moments of self-doubt all play roles in this. How long does it take to heal? You don’t heal u just learn to walk with the limp.”

Katar,26, however, left a gem, added the Blue Zebra legend. “Dear mama, we learnt to dance in the rain but this dance would have been much better with you. Your Empress is doing her best to love papa sometimes it feels like she sees the emptiness in my eyes, especially when she just comes to hold and kiss me for no reason. Thank you, mama, thank u for this anchor you left for me. Askim. One sweet day.”

“No child should ever be without a mother! No child! My friend u were magic, rest cause every Friday it plays back in my head...But broken crayons still paint so I will paint. What is grief like? Well it’s like the waves of an ocean sometimes they are high sometimes low but you're guaranteed they will hit. What causes them? Memories, jolts of confusion, uncertainty and moments of self-doubt all play roles in this. How long does it take to heal? U don’t heal u just learn to walk with the limp,” the Joka Jok designer added.