Why people don't like spending time with you

By Dayan Masinde | 5yrs ago | 4 min read

1. You are over sexual

If all you talk about and show interest in is sex, people will get bored with you. People want depth.

2. You are ever complaining

If you see no good about life or others and are ever negative you will drain people emotionally and they will keep off, you to protect themselves from your darkness.

3. You are a gossip

If you itch to talk about others, mature people will get tired of you. They will even avoid you thinking that you gossip about them with others.

4. You love to judge others

If you rarely take time to understand people and because of your religious stance, prejudice or self-righteous views you conclude on people too easily and label them, you will be avoided. People want to be understood.

5. You are constantly talking about your problems

If every time someone wants to spend time with you, all you talk about are your problems and how life is unfair to you, you will ruin your friendships and relationships. Yes, lean on people when you are going through a tough time, but also learn to lift yourself up and value quality time with others. Your troubles will be over soon, but will you have worried people out of your life?

6. You don't allow people to miss you

If you are constantly in people's faces and inviting yourself into their schedule, they might grow weary of you. Have your own personal pursuits, be absent sometimes so that people miss the good times they have with you.

7. You borrow too much

If you are stuck, it is good to ask for help from people who care. But if the only time you remember people is when you need money or a favour, they will feel used and avoid you. Build genuine friendships.

8. You love playing the victim

If you constantly like to throw a pity party to gain attention, if you are holding on to a dark incident in your past and using it to define you and expecting people to stay with you out of pity, majority of them will go. Move past this sorry state.

9. You lie a lot

If your words cannot be trusted, those looking for integrity will not tolerate you.

10. You are insensitive

If you make remarks and jokes that are offensive, you will lose true friends. This is a sign of immaturity and that you lack the heart to care for others.

11. You are possessive and obsessive

If you feel entitled to people's time, attack them when they interact with others, show unhealthy jealousy and come off as controlling, people will want to shake themselves off your suffocating chains.

12. You add little value

What value do you add to others? Do you bless others? Are you always taking but never giving? This has nothing to do with money but the impact you have, your comfort, your advice, support, care. If you add no value, why should someone keep you?

13. You are not growing

If you are stuck in the same mindset, lifestyle and level you had years ago, people will outgrow you and leave you.

14. You over react

If you are irrational, blowing things out of proportion, erratic, prone to drama, people who want peace and stability will insulate themselves from you.

15. You abandon people then want them back

If you make it a habit to drop people, accuse them, talk bad at them and say you don't need them then change your mind and want them back, they will get tired of your games and let you be. Human connections are very delicate.

16. You are one sided

If you are those people who only focusses on spiritual issues, or for you, all you are about is money, or all you talk about is sports, you might easily turn people off because human relations are holistic. Be balanced. Learn to also talk about other facets of life.

17. You have a low self-esteem

It is difficult to relate with you when you don't love or believe in yourself, you are giving people so much work to uplift you. You will lack friends when you are not your own true friend. Self loves makes you attractive.

18. You are not friendly

If you always wait for people to look for you and show interest in you but you make no effort to be friendly, people will hold back, feeling it is not mutual. Whoever wants friends must be friendly.

19. You associate with the wrong crowd

Some people want to be close to you but they notice your inner circle is full of people with no good intentions. They keep off you to protect themselves as they wish you valued constructive connections more.

In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I demistify what being a man is and I address the man's sexuality, emotions, thoughts and struggles.

In my other new book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I talk how a woman can be the best her as an individual, a wife, a mother, a friend and as a believer in God. I also address her sexuality.

To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.