Marital affairs: When his erection fails during love making

Imagine you are in the middle of what you expect to be a passionate lovemaking. Everything seems to be going on very well, the kisses seems to be enjoyable, the caressing- I don’t even want to comment, and now you are looking forward to an awesome orgasm.

Unexpected things happen and everything goes limp and slides out. The more you try, putting all concentrations into the acts of what you were doing, nothing seems to wake up the penis. The more you try, the more it dies on you. I know you feel embarrassed and frustrated.

Your partner is equally frustrated and disappointed. Both of you are left dumbfounded; unable to explain what has gone wrong. If you love each other and truly care, you will cuddle and tell each other it's okay and then try again later. If there is bad blood between you, the likely scenario will be a blame game, with either spoken or unspoken words.

Losing an erection in the middle of love making is a man’s worst nightmare and a woman’s greatest disappointment. A man may lose his erection during love making. This may happen during foreplay or just when the woman is ready for orgasm. A reason for this may be because the man is working so hard at slowing his own orgasm to keep in pace with his partner’s that he then gets tired and losses the erection.

A flaccid penis is not able to perform sexually. Sometimes men do experience difficulties becoming fully aroused. Reasons for this could be; concentrating too much to prolong love making and in the process one gets turned off, and also outside destructions such as noise, stress, physical ailments and other distractions.

Being flaccid may at times be temporary and this should not the used to consider oneself as either a failure or get to give up in the lovemaking act. Always try again later.

Erection failure appears in all ages, on every social level, skin color and within every economic group, so do not be cheated that it's a thing for the poor or the rich, the socialites or non-socialites; it's something that captures all humans.

Erection failure, though always considered as temporary, may also be due to impotence. Impotence is the inability of the man to achieve or keep an erection sufficient enough for time of intercourse. When the man experiences impotence, the vascular reflex mechanism fails to pump in sufficient blood as well as hold the blood to make the penis firm and to keep it erect.

Impotence unveils in two manners; first you can have the urge to make love and erection fails and second you may be in the process of love making then erection disappears and the next reaction is always panic.

It is important for men to be thoroughly informed about impotence or erection failure as this may save what could be years of grief if the temporary experience were allowed to become an established condition.

A man whose erection fails is in a better position to ensure it does not happen again if he discusses his fears with a loving and understanding partner as this way, they will both find a way to overcome the difficulty.

If it persists, then a loving couple would seek professional help to rule out any physical causes. Physical causes can be detected while the problem could be physiological one or could be induced by other factors.

These factors include;

obesity; it affects the physical contact and union of body parts. It can also greatly interfere with imagination factor in lovemaking, as well as lowering the individual’s self image and confidence.

Depression; an individual who is clinically depressed has low appetite for food, sex, sleep, pleasure and for life itself. The depression may trigger sexual inability, though this is temporary.

Alcohol; it provokes sexual desire but at the same time takes away much of the ability to perform or enjoy sex. Alcohol acts as a depressant in the neurological system and can inhibit a person’s sexual function as much as it does with the coordination of speech.

Fatigue; this simply means getting tired. When a man comes home after a whole day of work he might not have the enough energy needed for a good sexual relationship. A relaxed attitude or waiting until one is rested and an acceptance of lessened sexual energy when one is middle-aged will avoid much difficulty.

Drugs; these include amphetamines, barbiturates, cortisone, estrogens, progesterone, narcotics, sedatives and tranquilizers. Those taking narcotics such as bhang/ marijuana may be throbbing themselves of some of the really great thrills available in a positive, growing relationship in sex, especially in marriage.

Poor learning experience; in early relationships men who fumble and struggle in trying to insert the penis and in the process lose their erection, set up an anxiety trend, which may produce impotence. The man may feel foolish and self-esteem may be damaged. He may also lose concentration on sensations when he has to stop to try to find the place for the penis to go. In such a case the woman should assist since after all she knows best where it belongs.

Other factors include; negative feelings, unusual stress and seeing sex as a sin.

Good sexual act is considered as an act of being a real man, and just experiencing an erection failure once or twice should not make one feel less manly. And also women who their partners experience the failures should be there and together seek solutions to the problem. It saddens when a woman goes to another man for pleasure just because her partner never made her reach orgasm the last time they made love. Now we all know what can cause the failure and what should be done to solve it. Being in love and solving issues together is the best solution one can have when it comes to erection failure.