Dildos: 10 weird things Kenyan women carry in their 'fornication bags'

 Things that women carry in their handbags are not only strange but also, perplexing

Security guards at a city building were stunned when they found ostrich eggs inside a woman’s handbag last year.

When they threatened to take up the matter with Kenya Wildlife Service officers since it is illegal to carry ostrich this and that without a permit, the woman confessed the eggs were part of a good luck ritual. Indeed, they part of the demands from a city witchdoctor!

 Sounds weird, right? Well, no doubt, things that women carry in their handbags are not only strange but also, perplexing. Sample these:

1. Matchbox:  Unless you work in the ‘kitchen’ department, why walk around with a matchbox? Okay, female smokers are excused.

Linnet, a businesswoman, confesses that, “I have been carrying a matchbox in my handbag for more than a year now. One day I arrived home and there was a blackout. I was forced to find my way in the dark. Since then, I always carry a matchbox.”

2. Croc teeth, jumbo dung: No hard feelings but women are known to easily fall for ‘witchdoctors’ tricks’.

That explains why you will find a crocodile tooth for protection, elephant dung for good luck and strange things that promise one a wealthy Mr Man!

3. Tarino bottle: Forget the 14 milli-litre hand gun! Apparently, the bottle is not to grab a soda (although for some it is while shopping in ‘supas’) when temperatures hit 50 degrees.  It is a weapon.

A protection gear that women use when a man attempts anything ‘silly’.  Anne a beautician at city salon said she usually carries a bottle since “I hail from Kibera slums. One day, a man threatened me with small knife, luckily I had a soda bottle, which I used to hit him of the face.”

3. Remote control: We know women never want to miss an episode of Mariana and Scarlet but carrying a remote control is taking it too far.

In a matatu, one lady couldn’t get money in her handbag and had to turn it inside out. The remote control stood out as the oddest thing from her handbag. “It is to keep the television off when I am away, or the house girl will not work,” she mumbled.

4. Tam-Tam condoms: Modern ladies carry them as you never know when the craving will ‘cum’ (pun intended). Although most men are uncomfortable with the idea, many women will say it’s a life saver, literally, especially after a few drinks and there is an empty parking lot.

5. Dildo: Sex is an important ingredient in a modern woman’s lifestyle, but who said a man must be available before a girl can have fun?

The battery powered little soldiers can go on and on long after Ngigi, Ngugi and Ngei run out of ‘horse power.’

6. Slippers: Lydia, a college student says slippers in her handbag are a priority as she fears contracting athlete’s foot and other related diseases from sharing flip flops with strangers whenever she visits ‘people’s houses’.

7. Bulbs and water taps: Some pretty lasses reside in areas where security light bulbs change ownership during the day. So is the water tap regulator. Thought they had bedrooms?

8. Thermos: Some habits are acquired during pregnancy and don’t easily wean off. I have seen a woman, from Busia, carry a flask of tea or porridge in her handbag, every day. Yet it all started as an innocent craving during pregnancy!

9. Boyfriend boxers: “Most of the times when my man is out on trips I miss him so much, to feel near him, I always carry his boxers and beside me on the bed at night” says one Linda an insurance sales lady.

10. Mug: One chick came home and on seeing the tiny cups and saucer fished out a brown mug that resembled a small birika!