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If you can read this, then it is because your teacher did a good job in replacing your empty mind with an open one.
There’s no doubt that teaching is one of the hardest jobs around. From managing a roomful of students to solving problems not always on the lesson plan, teachers are our superheroes. And some can be quite humorous.
There are things you never forget about teachers.
Here are some of the humorous teachers’ quotes sent to us by our readers:
Kiaguthu Boys Secondary
Mr Kung’u
He would never let any Tom, Dick and window-licking Kamau to board the school bus for whatever reason.
He made sure Kamau never went on a school trip twice. He would say: “Wewe rudi, hakuna trifo (trip). Si ulienda last week”
Mr Ngure
He was known for saying, “Hiyo si yetu,” every time he spotted anyone wearing anything other than the school uniform.
One student however decided to reply with, “Eeh, si yenu, ni yangu.” What happened next was something close to World War 3.
Mr kuria
Whenever he caught you on the wrong side of the law, he would politely ask, “Nikikuchapa utasema nakuonea, nikikuacha utasema nakuogapa, sasa unataka nikufanyie nini?”
Meru School
Mr Ithinji — deputy principal
Mr Ithinji: Is there anybody in the ablution block?
Student: (loudly) No!
Mr Ithinji: Ooh... (going away)
Mr Ithinji: (Talking to Form Four students seated outside their class during break time) I can see you boys are roasting in the sun.
Mr Ithinji: You two boys, come here. Why were you sleeping twice on the same bed?
Mr Mwirigi - principal
Principal: Umewasha?
Student: Hapana mwalimu.
Principal: (Whipping the student) Nilikwambia uwashe bangi hauskii...
Student: (Screaming) Mwalimu sijawasha bangi aki...
Too bad for the student who realised that by ‘washa,’ the principal actually meant ‘wacha!’
Sing’ore Girls, Iten
Teacher Opinde: “Some of you cannot even qualify to be prostitutes... nowadays prostitution is C+ and above. Where will you go with your Ds? Perhaps you will be miserable wives in the village!”
Sister Peter Anyango Josphine - principal
“Girls, can you work hard just like your mothers did during your birth... or you think your mother just coughed you out and said, ‘Chebet (newborn) welcome to the world?!”
What do you remember about your school captains/ headgirl/ headboys Send your views to: [email protected]. Remember to include your name and the name of your school.
