We had a secret affair, now she is dead; should I introduce myself at her funeral?

He woke up to a bright new day with lucid blue in the sky. To the east, the swirling masses of birds were rising and falling. Their colors were interlacing the brightness of the sky. It was a beautiful day and that was the worst part. Today, Arvin was attending the funeral of his lover who was attacked and killed by thugs. The arcs of their lives were physically coming to a painful end this day.

Arvin was going to be unnoticed and invincible throughout the burial as theirs had been a secret love affair. His deepest satisfaction had always depended on her needs and he strived to provide that. Together, they had visited doors that they never knew existed. The anticipation for each other had proved more thrilling than life itself. Now, he wished that he had never visited places of himself that only remained with a broken meaning.  

The bouquets of colorful flowers charmed his eyes but raised storms of terror in his heart. They carried a stabbing meaning and reality that welled spasms of pain throughout his body. He had no idea how he was going to walk in this life without her by his side. How was he going to survive this pain of love? Fear was creeping and engulfing him as he desperately searched for any words of solace and comfort. He stood still like a log feeling the numbness of pain receding from him. He was losing his self-preservation and all his senses as he freely opened the floodgates of his emotions. His eyes unashamedly shed uncontrolled tears of pain as he felt the shovel biting into the loose soil.

With much horror he felt the hand of death raining terror in his world. It was tormenting and torturing every delicate cell that made him. She was now gone forever with his heart, dreams and aspirations. They still had so much to see, explore and discover in a world that they had made theirs. All his senses merged at his centum as he drowned in the realization that all his remaining days will pass without any purpose.