Wannabe porn stars are in town

 Is this what the Yegons sent their daughter to South Africa to do — to be a wannabe, low grade porn video ‘star’? Photo: Courtesy

The summer Olympic games begin today in Rio de Janiero, the capital of Brazil, 120 years after the first modern Olympic games were held in Athens, Greece, in 1896.

While other Chelagats like Maureen and Joyline are doing Kenya proud by stretching their legs in races in Rio (and Yego by throwing the javelin), one Chelagat Yegon is just spreading her legs and being javelined in videos gone viral, from Johannesburg to Nairobi.

And then she has the balls, pardon the pun, for being brazen about it — as if she did something really great and won a bronze medal.

Chelah Yegon, for those not in the picture (the puns keep coming, and there’s a third one) made and spread a sex video of herself getting shafted ‘doggie style’ by some chap in South Africa.

Then she said on Facebook that it was part of a Hollywood movie called ‘Doggie Gone Wild’ and then told off her ‘haters’ saying they were just jealous of the well­endowed action. She also asked her ‘fans’ for suggestions for her upcoming video called ‘Bootie Gone Wild’ (which having gotten a visual taste of her action, they will now presumably pay to download).

That is, loosely speaking, Chelah’s plan for making cheddar (money) and becoming famous in the process. This is where we have to ask — where did the rain of far­fetched fantasy begin beating us?

Is this what the Yegons sent their daughter to South Africa to do — to be a wannabe, low grade porn video ‘star’? Imagine the joy of Joyline’s mother as she watches her cross that line in Rio and the pain of Mr. Yegon as he watches his ‘socialite’ wannabe cross the line into pubic, err sorry, public immorality in a video called ‘Doggie Gone Wild.’

The Internet never forgets! While Maureen Chela will one day proudly show her kids her exploits in Rio, Chelah will know the second her kids google her name, this will be the only reference to her on the Net – times 40,000.

Woebegone Yegon.

Before you decide to share the video of the goods you are chewing with the world, wannabe, ask yourself if you’ll still be proud to be seen in this poor light in a year like 2020.

Because it will come! It used to be men who used to brag about the number of their sexual conquests. Actually, many still do. I met this musician the other day and he told me ever since his separation from his wife, he gets to lay as many as three women some days as he is idle all day and gets women’s contacts at the hotel, his neighbourhood and social media platform. I felt pity for him.

This should be a Campus wannabe’s fantasy, not the activity of a chap who is in his early 40s.

But then women have joined the game.

The Nairobian had the bestselling story of prostitute Rosemary who said she had slept with about 5,000 men in 20 years. What shocked me was some readers’ reaction that did not find that a big deal. A feller called ‘Reformed Lunatic’ decided the average ‘decent’ and liberalised Nai lady will have started sex at 15 and slept with about 800 men by age 35.

Allan Barrack decided 5,000 men is too low and called Rosemary a German machine who has handled at least 175,000 ‘thigh mongers’ (sic).

A third, Tomax, said: ‘If she says she has slept with 5,000, it may be 35,000 – she has legions of demons in her, and a legion has 6,000 demons. Do the math!’

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