How to keep personal issues away from workplace

Many times we often find ourselves in situations where our personal commitments collide with our duties at workplaces. It may be that there is something happening in your family that makes it difficult to fully concentrate at work, or you are having issues with friends and neighbors that are weighing you down. Also many times, it is a romantic relationship that interferes with your concentration at work. What could get worse in this situation is when your better half happens to be a colleague or your boss!

So how do you prevent your personal life from affecting your job?

I know a lot of people would advise you to overload yourself with assignments so that you don't have time to fret over your issues, but this only serves to build up tension within you. My immediate boss normally advises us to 'be open', and 'speak out' when we feel there is something really weighing us down. To many people this advice may sound unrealistic in a world where people are pushed every single day to hide who they really are and adopt a face that society finds acceptable. We have been taught not to dress like we really would want to, not to don makeup (for the ladies), not to say when we love someone because chances are, that they will use it to break us down. And so even at work, we hide.

I know many employment institutions have a helpline (which may come in different names) where you can get counselling; from financial issues to personal troubles. Even if your workplace doesn’t have one, we have independent counselling institutions. The point here is not just getting advice, but getting to 'speak up’ about it to someone else. Opening up helps. When you look into someone else's eyes, and let the words out, half the weight is gone.

The other thing that you could do is, take time away from everything. See, I'm still trying to get you from overworking yourself to 'forget'. Take time away from work if it is possible (at least a one day off should be possible), and during this time, you can grab a good book or whip up a good meal for yourself and your family, go on a road trip, or visit the movie store and get one of your favorite movies! Do something to refresh and recharge your mind.

Which brings me to the third option you have, help out a needy person. As a young child every time I would complain about something, say, shoes, my mother would point out how lucky I was to even have feet in the first place! Years later I see a lot of sense in her words. I agree that the fact that someone else has problems doesn’t make yours any less problematic, but when you get out there and see how some people live because of poverty and disease, you will have a different approach towards life.

Even better is when you reach out to one or more of these people. This could be that street family at the corner, that woman in Mathare slums whose children walk in tattered clothes to school, your gardener who has children that need to go to university but he cannot afford it. Whatever little you do, or however big it is, it changes your life, especially your attitude towards your problems. You will not go to work the same person.

Maybe we could all decide to hide when we have problems that affect our work, or we could use them as an opportunity to learn and grow from. Even as you go about finding solutions, remember to set yourself free. Free from the chains that break you down in silence.