Nakuru has officially gone to the dogs

Outside Nairobi, Kenya’s other two cities and towns suck in no small measure. Mombasa used to be cool, but you can no longer sun yourself on the beach without thinking of Al-Shabaab blowing you up into shards for fun. Despite being made a city with all the pomp and colour, and a guest list that included Presidents Yoweri Museveni and Benjamin Mkapa, Kisumu is still the small town that it was in 1967, only rusty and weary.

The only other town that had so much going for it was Nakuru. Then, for some inexplicable reason, it tanked. Slightly more than a decade ago, Nakuru was even ranked the cleanest city in Africa and was a promising metropolis, touted to be the best alternative to Nairobi. I remember we were taken there for a trip as prefects in our high school. It was a beautiful town - green and teeming with beautiful women. The town was sparkling without a blight, save for some prostitute beating the daylights out of some man at 12.03pm for apparently refused to pay up.

I visited Nakuru last August and that magic, promise and glitter was all gone. The place is a ghost town; deserted and unremarkable. So forlorn, I was enraged. How can a town as big as Nakuru be so ambitionless? With a world-renowned park, a lake, a reputable army base, a large cosmopolitan population and great roads, you will think that Nakuru will make good use of these features. But alas!

Nakuru’s inferiority complex is something I have never understood. People who grew up in Nakuru (they have these annoying habit of referring to Nakuru as Nax) talk of Nakuru as if it is the greatest city in East and Central Africa, only that all of them are in Nairobi and no tractor can pull them back to their mundane, desperate town. There are no young people in Nakuru. As soon as they finish high school, they ship out to Nairobi or Eldoret (of all places!).

Nakuru has a myriad problems, too long to list here. Public transport is a crying shame. The matatus are the oldest and dirtiest, they put those Eastleigh manyangas - that are washed once every time national census are conducted - to shame. Can’t they even play some decent music for crying out loud.

When you come down to it, Nakuru is really a small town trapped in a big city. People know each other, I mean you bump into your kindergarten teacher daily around the corner and she never ceases to remind you how mucus used to pour out of your tiny nostrils, or something as petty. I will like to write about the entertainment industry down there, but frankly, there is nothing whatsoever to write home about. Students from that public university in Njoro (I keep forgetting its name) used to boost Nakuru a bit, but no more. We never hear of them anymore.

When you think about it, may be Nakuru was never that great. The railway line may have boosted during the pre-independence period, and shortly afterwards. Then President Moi helped in pulling the town up by his generosity. Back then, the highway to western Kenya passed through this town. When half the traffic was whisked to the Narok-Bomet route, Nakuru’s death begun.

Post-election violence did scare potential investors and from then on, it has been a downhill trend. The investors mostly ended up in Nairobi, Kisii and Thika. Now, Nakuru has become a town of very old people, mostly farmers, disinterested middle-aged types, and young people who will give their kidney to get out of the hellhole.

Yet, it needs not be this way. Nakuru should ideally be the best city in Kenya. It saddens me that Naivasha, despite the scary stories about monkey and zebra meat, is given better reviews than Nakuru. For starters, Nakuru needs to find a way of retaining some of its young people or attract new ones to make it a livable town. That means the county government should encourage more institutions of higher learning that offer quality education. Nakuru can do with proper entertainment spots, some cleaning, sprucing up and modern housing.

But as things stand, we might all end up being crammed in Nairobi with no breathing space. This is to the Nakuru County government, do something, have some ambition and imagination. Make Nakuru great again.

@nyanchwani

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