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The gloom of how tribal politics has invaded private lives

News

When my friend Lee Makwiny posted photos of one Jared Otieno’s groom party in Meru, many Luo single ladies got peeved and they said as much in the social media.  Jared as you can recall, is that Luo young man from Ndhiwa who was reported to have gone all the way to Meru and spent about Sh15 million to host his in-laws in Ndhiwa, Homa Bay County.

While there was glitz going on up the mountain, down the plains fire was raging, the tiff? Why would a ‘sensible’, (pun not intended) young Luo  man go all the way to Mount Kenya looking for a wife leaving plenty of beautiful luo ladies down in Nyanza? And to add fuel to the fire, was a comment made by one man that most Luo women are far from being called ladies.

In retaliation, Nyinam (daughters of the lake) fired back that such men are only out to show off their wealth.  The feeling among the aggrieved Luo ladies was that people from Mount Kenya in general have never in the political history of Kenya appreciated the Luos and or even voted in a Luo.

So the marriage was to them null and void and Jared was supposedly rubbing salt on their faces by marrying from Meru and allowing his friends to post pictures of choppers on Facebook/twitter to mock them.

One of the aggrieved ladies did not mince her words when responding to these posts.

‘Nimekasirika yangu yote..’ (I am totally irked) and even added in Luo, ‘magi fuo’ (these is stupidity)

Now that shows a lady piqued to the bone marrow.

What followed was a barrage of accusations and counter accusations with men trying to argue that most Luo ladies are not wife material. On the other hand, the ladies dismissed Luo young men whom they claim are out to please ladies from the mountain region who according to them (Luo ladies), are only interested in their money.

While this was going on, the cane cutter was chewing his sugarcane under the Orepe tree now that we have no use of our own sugarcane. I am not here to further stoke the fire more on the much talked about laziness of ladies from Nyanza of whom it is said that once they are married, their duty is to do house chores and knit table clothes.

But come to think of it, has politics invaded our private lives to a point that one cannot venture out and have a relationship with a partner from another tribe without drawing fiery criticism? Why have we allowed ourselves to be blinded by tribal profits, not to see the beauty that lies yonder? One of my greatest teachers of all time, Dr. Simon Peter Otieno, once told me that the only way to see beyond your weaknesses is to share a cubicle with a fellow from another tribe when in campus.

Contrary to which, one may be forced to often recoil  into  little tribal and village cocoons of simpleton  thinking wrought with regrets, fears and everyday complains without getting a chink for new developments.  The simple principle in his argument and which played a tremendous positive effect in my life was love yourself, love your tribe, but for you to grow, you must feel beyond your body smell and try and create new contacts and networks with people of different thinking and even tribe; basically that is why a man marries a woman in the first place (forget the others).

For example, if two young Luo men share a cubicle in campus, they will more likely be cursing the government day in day out drawing their frustrations from as back as 1960! The same with the Luhyas, what else would they talk about if not  to reminisce of Ingokho (chicken) and Obusuma (Ugali) their mothers would be preparing for them where as in campus they feed on vegetables like rabbits! Sounds cruel, but it is true; the same goes with marriage. 

Back to the inter-tribal marriage debate, it goes without saying therefore that for you to have a girlfriend or boyfriend from the other tribe; you must first get an approval from your tribe, on social media of course, for it has become our unofficial platform of puffing off our lungs when frustrated. Otherwise, as much as you would have your way  in pleasing your heart and sight; your people will for many days to come after the fanfare is over,  twist their noses at the sight of your spouse as she beats the morning dew to the village river to fetch water.

When the late Fidel Odinga married a kikuyu lady, many read political scheming by the Odinga family. It was suggested that his father, Raila Odinga wanted to win the hearts of the Kikuyu community in the run up to the bitterly contested 2007 General elections. Ironically, it seemed the arrangement did not go down well with the gods of Nyalgunga, the spirit of Nam Lolwe (Lake Victoria) and those of Mount Kirinyaga, the nuptial never lasted, the rest is history.

Experts have pointed out that the only solution to our negative ethnic perspective would only come through inter-tribal marriages. But when you read the harrowing experiences of people who married across the tribe during Rwanda, Burundi genocides, you get an eerie feeling. We still have to go an extra  mile to bridge the chasm. That is how much negative ethnicity and tribal politics has invaded our private lives.

Still, for all practical reasons and purposes, the cane cutter would argue, politics should not hinder us from falling in love with whomever we choose to love if that love is genuine. As for Jared, welcome aboard buddy, yours truly, the cane cutter is swimming on the same boat as you or are we flying?

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