5 ways the Nairobi heat is making life unbearable

Ah, the splendid radiant sunny days! Sunny weather is synonymous with good spirits. It is a time of cheer and merry making. Well, not for me. The hot sun makes me cranky and pisses me off. Apart from the fact that scorching heat gives men an excuse to remove their shirts and flaunt their beer bellies, there is a lot to hate about the overwhelming heat. I prefer being comfy and snug. I like the prospect of curling up with a blanket on the couch with a steaming cup of coffee much better than donning a bathing suit and going to the pool in the sweltering heat. I have compiled a list of the top five things that contribute to my sunny weather blues.

The heat: You can always add on more layers when the weather is cold, but there is a limit to the amount of clothing you can remove when it is scalding hot. Also, for some inexplicable reason, things become sticky and icky in the stifling heat. From chairs, tables, door handles, your phone, your hair and pretty much everything become gross to touch. Yikes!

Hot cars: Leather seats are a no-no in hot weather. You burn your bum when you sit down and there is not much you can do about it other than crying or cursing. Then you literally have to peel your bum off the seat when getting out. After a long day at work, the last thing you need is to be stuck in a metal sauna on wheels.

Unholy sweat: Even after stripping down to the few clothes that are still bearable in the heat, you have to contend with the sweat and pervading pungent body odour when temperatures hit the roof. You leave sweat patches everywhere you sit, no matter how much deodorant and antiperspirant you use. Body odour is everywhere because there are still a few dimwits out there who still think showering daily and putting on deodorant is optional. Argh!

Freaking mosquitoes: Your cache of chemical weapons won’t provide much relief from the sinister insects that make their noisy entrance after dark. It feels like they’re throwing a huge party in your bedroom! It is like they are taunting you. They buzz around you, circling your head looking for a nice place to land and bite. Also, these annoying little bastards carry with them all sorts of obnoxious diseases, so you have to spend the next couple of days wondering if you have been infected with something.

Sleepless nights: A decent night’s sleep becomes a thing of the past when the hot weather sets in. Cuddling with your partner should not be attempted unless you want to risk heatstroke. You spend the night fighting off your duvet and swatting mosquitoes.

@roxannekenya