Five types of students in an exam room

It has been an amazing month, majorly because of the Fifa World Cup. We have had fun cheering on our teams and laughing at Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi supporters. Jeering at losing teams and placing bets and winning - occasionally - and losing, almost always.

As I write this, my team, Belgium, just got knocked out by France at the Semis. And so, I really care less about who'll win the tournament now... so long as it's not France.

By the time you're reading this piece, the World Cup will most certainly be over. I just hope the best team wins (which, basically, means any other team besides France.)

Anyway, curtains down on the World Cup will bring with it a new reality to campus students; the end of semester examinations. And you're a student at my school, you'll have only two weeks to prepare for those exams.

Here are five types of students you'll notice in any exam setting;

The 'Chopi'

This is the chap who has been studying all semester. When the rest of us idlers were busy shouting our voices hoarse during the World Cup, they were in the library. They will sit at the front, right next to the invigilator, during the exam. Not once will you see them flinch or turn due to uncertainty at a particular question, they know all the answers. Most of them, at least. And they will always ask for an extra set of answer booklet.

The 'Mwakenya' type

These ones may or may not have prepared enough but they just don't trust themselves enough to get into an exam room without a booster. And so they will come to every single exam with 'mwakenyas, even Math-related exams like Calculus.

The 'serikali saidia' type

These are the guys who do not know the answers to a single question in any examination. And so they will keep pulling at the person on their left and whistling at the person at their right asking: "Si unisaidie number 2 maze." Avoid them like a plague.

The 'scratch-my-back-but-I-won't-scratch-yours' type

These ones will ask you for help when they come across a question they don't have the answer to and you will help them. But when you ask them for help, they will not repay the favour. They will play deaf and dumb and act like they don't hear you holllering. These ones deserve to be buried alive in a cold cell in Lucifer's castle.

The 'I-honestly-don't-know' type

These are the most honest ones you'll meet in an exam room. They will admit to not knowing a single thing but they still won't ask for help. They will write down what they can remember and submit their answer booklets and leave the exam room as early as 20 minutes in. They will always say: "Why sit in an exam room for two hours struggling with what I honestly don't know the answers to and still get 10?"