Feeding the deceased: Strange rituals communities perform to appease the dead

Upon the death of a person, various communities have different ways of paying respect to the deceased. Often this is done in order to ensure the deceased’s soul rests in peace and doesn’t trouble those they leave behind, especially family members.

While modernity and formal education may have wiped out some traditional beliefs that were deemed primitive, some traditional death rituals have simply refused to go away. The type of practices and beliefs are informed by the marital status, social standing, and cause of death as well as specific clan of the deceased.

For instance, among the Kalenjin community, a man who dies at a marriageable age, with neither a wife nor having sired a child was frowned upon. As a result the person was accorded a low-profile burial.

The body would be ferried from the morgue to his home. He would then be allowed a brief ‘rest’ in his room, before being buried. On the other hand, a person who dies at a ripe age with a wife and children gets a more elaborate funeral.

In line with rituals, his body would ‘sleep’ in his house for one last night before being interred the following day.

Senior citizen John Tangus, 65, says this is a sign of respect to the deceased’s family.

“He is supposed to spend a night in his house before burial to enable him have a final feeling of his home. The widow and close female family members sleep next to the coffin to offer the corpse company throughout the night,” he says.

He adds that a bull intended to be eaten on the burial day is only slaughtered once the body has landed in the homestead. Failure to do so, he says, would jinx the family.

Some families feed the dead before burial. Such was a case that shocked a bereaved family recently in Mogogosiek area, Bomet County.

As the family was preparing to go and fetch their kin’s body from the morgue, an elderly woman arrived carrying a gourd.

She went ahead and ordered some milk to be poured into it and insisted that the deceased had to take a sip of milk at the morgue to quench his thirst.

Attempts by the family to restrain her failed. The old lady warned of a curse if anyone “thinks I don’t know what I am doing”. She had her way but the deceased never swallowed.

A family member identified as Simeon, admitted that they had to eat humble pie as the old lady did her thing, to avoid embarrassment.

“She is a distant relative, we don’t ascribe to such inconsequential rituals, let no one mistake us as being in agreement with what she did,” he explained to a morgue attendant as he begged him to wipe overflowing milk from the deceased’s mouth.

Those who commit suicide or die in ‘shameful’ ways like giving up the ghost after quaffing one too many have their special send-off. In Nyansiongo area, Nyamira County, a 26-year-old man who had hanged himself had to be whipped before burial.

According to the man’s uncle, the weird practice was meant to teach him a lesson and ward off the suicide spirit aroused by the young soul which died “shamefully when there were dignified ways of passing on like dying in sleep or while fighting a disease”.

Some communities have rituals performed when a person who killed another dies. In such a scenario the ritual is tailored to make peace with the spirit of the murdered person. They often involve offering an apology to the victim’s family, then slaughtering a ram, with elders from both families chanting incantations, begging the ancestors to forgive the offending dead soul for the sake of his living family.

“If this ritual isn’t performed the offending man’s family will suffer all manner of doom or gradually lose their members through mysterious deaths,” says Mathew Ketienya, 58, who has had a first-hand experience with the ritual.

The practices are also performed on perpetrators of manslaughter, such as those who kill pedestrians while driving or mistakenly pull the trigger to off a stray bullet. This involves the driver’s clan calling a meeting, sending an emissary to apologise and then contributing money or livestock to be given to the members of the deceased person’s family.

And widows who mistreat their children or violate the wishes of their deceased husbands are believed to disturb the souls of the dead. Such was a shocking case reported in Kaboson area, Kericho County. A widow, whose family sought anonymity, is believed to have been screaming often at the dead of the night, while claiming her dead husband was strangling her.

What’s more, she maintained that she could hear the man questioning her, wondering why she wasn’t taking good care of their children. The family elders had to intervene to contain the situation. The ritual performed involved pouring milk on the man’s grave and pleading with him to cool down, rest in peace and stop bothering the family, in case he had a thing against them, going by his wife’s behaviour.

And true to their word, the man stopped ‘strangling’ the wife. The widow was prevailed upon to work hard and provide for her children using the resources the man left behind.

An elder named Arap Tutuyon, 65, opined that dead men actually watch over their families and can strike when, for instance, their children or wives are being mistreated.

“When a man dies, his wishes have to be adhered to or else he will haunt and torment the living,” he says. Burying a dead person in the wrong place is also believed to anger them. A worrying incident recently hit a family in Muhoroni, Kisumu County.

The hearse carrying the man’s body for burial in his first wife’s home developed one mechanical problem after another, forcing the family to stop and think.

After a brief roadside consultation, the deceased was driven to his second wife’s home. And the journey went on smoothly. It is believed the man had expressed his desire to be buried in his second wife’s home.

However, some family members, working in cohorts with the first wife, wanted to ignore his wish. But the dead in some communities are never dead until laid six feet under.

Even though these beliefs and rituals elicit reactions, some conservative elderly members of families insist on adhering to them to the letter to avoid annoying the ancestors.

Steve Moria, 34, doesn’t believe in such rituals while terming them backward.

“Performing and believing in such rituals is akin to pleasing and massaging the devil’s ego. I won’t accept such rituals in my family since we are strict Christians,” he opines.

Mzee Jonathan Masupei, 60, warns that doing away with such rituals in the name of civilisation is a sign of defiance to one’s culture and heritage.

He says the rituals are there to stay and ought to be respected and observed as a source of pride.

Modern families and religious bodies loathe them and have over time developed a condescending attitude towards the rituals and beliefs, which they view as devilish and inconsequential.

Alfred Khangati, a member of the clergy upholds that such rituals and beliefs go against the Biblical requirements.

Seeing that many families have embraced religious practices, he says traditional rituals are slowly losing relevance in today’s society.