Drama as Meru farmer resorts to prayer to coax bull to mount cow

Whoever coined the phrase, ‘Desperate times call for desperate measures’ must have had one cash-strapped farmer in Meru County in mind. The seemingly broke farmer left locals in Kiagua village in stitches after he went down on his knees and launched into a loud fervent prayer whilst coaxing his bull to mount a cow for fear of losing out on easy money.

After frantic efforts to get the bull to rise to the occasion and deliver even a single neat shot, Lady Luck remained gloomy. This, of course, threw the bull owner into panic, seeing as he had been paid and the impatient cow owner was seething with rage, demanding a refund.

After trying all the tricks in the book, including using his walking stick to playfully rub the bull’s ‘family jewels’, the aged farmer resorted to divine intervention.

Apparently, the cow owner had tried to get his animal pregnant through artificial insemination in futility. But when it became apparent that the cow had not conceived, he enlisted the services of the bull by paying the owner Sh500.

Artificial insemination

“I had spent quite a substantial amount of money to ensure that my cow sired a healthy calf so that I could venture into the vibrant dairy farming business. But the artificial insemination officers failed me on various occasions. That is when I decided to hire the services of the village elder’s bull to do the job,” the farmer narrated.

In the locale, the rates for artificial insemination range from Sh1,000 and above, but unfortunately farmers are never guaranteed of results, which is the reason many turn to the natural method.

Trouble started when the farmer arrived at the elderly man’s home with his heifer, optimistic that his troubles would end in no time. But he was surprised to find that the bull, as one local put it, “was not in the mood” to accomplish the mission.

The elderly man cheered his bull, chanting naughty slogans in his native language, hoping for the best, but all was in vain. Instead, the bull began running wild, and all of a sudden it turned into a wild goose chase. When the mission turned impossible, the impatient cow owner began demanding his money back.

What followed was a move that left the locals in shock. The elderly man asked those present to take off their hats and close their eyes, for the ground they were standing on was holy.

Prayer session

The villagers did not they were getting into a prayer session, meant to beg the almighty God to prevail upon the the bull to do the needful. He went down on his knees, faced Mt Kenya and prayed, telling the almighty not to forsake him and the bull in the hour of need.

“Just as you helped the Israelites conquer many tribulations, including crossing the Red Sea, this bull and Kiangua village need your intervention. Give the bull energy, just like you did to David when he slayed the gigantic Goliath....,” the bull owner went on to pray in Gikuyu.

The villagers were amused by the elder’s antics, with some laughing at him since they knew too well that the miracle was not forthcoming. It then dawned on the farmer that he was being taken for a ride by the elder. He herded his cow home, lamenting over his wasted time and money.