Dude, who are you calling grave digger?

It’s midnight on a dark night and I have a problem motivating the bunch of volunteers under my watch who are running low on fuel. I had sent out one of my relatives on an errand and his return is long overdue.

One of my cousins suggests a search party but I remind him of the task at hand. We are digging the grave of my aunt, a lovely woman who died after a short illness and the task is proving to be quite arduous.

Hardly a quarter-way through the excavation and we encountered a rock that turned out to have a bigger base than anticipated. Meanwhile two men continue hauling spades full of gravel and soil.

We have to be done with the grave before day break and the morale is low.

Fond memories

A city-based relative had earlier appeared by the graveside and complained that “grave diggers were talking too much and hardly working”. That statement did not go down well and I had to persuade him to leave the site.

He could not understand why people were getting upset just because he called them grave diggers. Suddenly the errand man appears with a large bottle of liquor and the mood perks up. I am assured of meeting the day-break deadline.

In my neck of the woods, when an individual dies, the grave is dug by the men in the community. There is more to the ritual than just digging a hole in the ground.

It becomes an occasion for the relatives to reminisce and share fond memories of the deceased as they prepare the final resting place.

Little liquor

Men show up by the graveside to lend a hand as a mark of respect for dead.

It was a way to mourn and comfort the family who suffered the loss by sparing time and labour. The digging is always done by hand and given the terrains, it often takes all night. A little liquor helps lighten the load and takes the focus off the graveness of the task.

Digging a grave sober is depressing. Unfortunately, the custom is dying and I have started noticing the entrance of professional grave diggers (burial grounds custodians). Men paid in cash to dig graves.

This is the tragedy of modernity where we tend to throw out the baby with the bath water and miss the value of rituals of the old that nurtured community bonds.