End of year party brings out the wild side of teachers

The annual staff end of year party is an event we all look forward to. It traditionally takes place on the last Friday of the closing week and dividends from the school canteen, which is run by the staff welfare, are declared.

A list of shame of members behind in welfare contributions is also read out. For the third year in a row, Aeneas topped the list.

It took some time to agree on the menu for the day. While there was little debate on the drinks, the meat generated a lot of interest. Thunder and few others wanted ‘mbuzi tumbukiza.’ This was probably to provide a safe landing for the drinks. Vasco Da Gama was alarmed.

“How can we waste goat ribs by boiling them? Mbavu ni za kuchomwa,” he declared. Donatta suddenly remembered her doctor’s advice to keep off red meat and campaigned for either chicken or rabbit meat. “Are the boys to eat rabbits?” remarked a bemused Okonkwo. Donatta never ceases to amaze.

On several occasions, I have seen her rob goat ribs of their meat with such surgical precision that the bone afterwards looks as if it has been polished by kisii soap stone sculptors. It was agreed that we would have a goat and some chicken — for the health conscious ones. Annete was asked to come up with the full menu.

“Make sure there is enough kachumbari,” insisted Thunder. Schola who claims to be an event’s organiser was helping the support staff to arrange the hall on Friday mid-morning.

Donatta on short notice brought her music system. The speakers of the school’s music system had been vandalised by the Form Fours.

Authority on goats

Tony, one of the four trainee teachers installed himself as the DJ. We had agreed to bring our music CDs. Margarita had a heap of gospel CDs by Rose Muhando, Vasco Da Gama brought a collection of Kenny Rogers’ greatest hits while Schola produced a collection by Diamond.

By midday, the goat had not been seen. Annette had sought the assistance of Vasco Da Gama who considers himself some sort of an authority on goats.

When they came back, it emerged that they had taken too much time because Vasco Da Gama was looking for a goat with a particularly big head!

The man’s love for the herbivore’s ‘engine’ is legendary. Some thirsty colleagues ended up sampling the drinks even before the meat was ready. By the time Okonkwo walked in to give the traditional end of year speech and wish all a Merry Christmas and a prosperous 2015, Thunder was dancing to Franco’s Mario.

We were all in a party mood. Schola was so excited that when the principal rose to make his remarks, she cheered him by his nick name - Okonkwo.

After a very long speech, by the end of which Thunder had emptied a beer bottle, Okonkwo declared the party open.

Campaigned for chicken

I wasn’t surprised when I saw Donatta, who had campaigned so much for chicken, struggling with a goat rib. The metamorphosis of the Meta Meta staff was spectacular.

Even the normally meek ones discovered their tongues. Donatta after a couple of King Fishers found enough courage to tell off Depa over unfair lesson allocations.

Thunder on the other hand wondered why the administration was conspiring to ruin his marriage. He had his last lesson on Friday and the first on Monday yet they knew he had to travel to another county where his wife worked. “There is a scheme to finish my family,” he shouted.

As the party got heated, soldier staggered in singing Ken Wa Maria’s ‘Fundamendoz.’ It was then that we realised that Jezebel and the kitchen staff had been secretly taking drinks to other members of the support staff.