Please spare us the male socialites too

Following  the amount of acreage devoted to the new breed of do-anything-for-fame socialites in the local media, someone asked a poignant question on Facebook. “How come they are no male socialites?”

 My response would be, look again.

A male socialite starts out as a seriously ambitious character in a mainstream profession such as banking. From an individual limited to a three point circuit, between, his office, members club and home, the transformation will be rapid once he attains the status of ‘a man of means’.

The prominent banker begins to hang out with ‘the people’, attending any event where he can rake in social capital and earn praise for his exceeding generosity with resources. 

Before long you spot him on a primetime TV interview slot making a circuitous statement, “after long consideration and consultation, I have decided to heed my people’s call and throw my hat into the ring”. 

SOCIALLY AGGRESSIVE

He resigns from office, makes a spirited campaign. Next thing, he is in Parliament establishing a reputation as a vocal advocate of some ruling coalition. The makeover will leave you marveling, “Isn’t that guy from the club? When did he become a Senator?”

This is the metamorphosis of male socialites in Kenya, only that we call them politicians. The politician type A (be warned they come in all shades) exhibit all the traits of bonafide socialites. They will make great personal sacrifices to become members of the most dominant clique and hustle their way to popularity.

When ones popularity begins to wane, a juicy scandal is all it takes to swing one right back to the top of the pops. You have got to be socially aggressive to become a staple in the public conversation. Sycophancy pays bills.  You have to learn how to dance, pose for pictures with babies, do charity for press, acquire famous friends and importantly do whatever it takes to sustain notoriety.

We detest socialites because they do not play by the rule book.

They cut corners, break rules, max out every opportunity available and care little for the consequences of social scorn when the ends justify the means.

 We castigate socialites for setting a bad example because it is typical to look for role models in all the wrong places.

Before male socialites carve out a spot in the limelight, they are known as wannabes.

I wanna be somebody. So to compensate for the low self-esteem issues masked by delusions of grandeur they venture into politics.

The bimbo apocalypse we are witnessing presently is linked to male socialites. The true male socialite will invest a great deal of money in acquiring a cosmetically reconditioned escort, to display like Paris Hilton’s Chihuahua.

 

The well-kept mistress is a long standing status symbol in the big boys club. Real male socialites require healthy bank accounts for popularity does not come cheap. Male socialites invest in being seen to be doing well because that is how they build social capital.

GROWING POPULARITY

With growing popularity, comes new connections that are utilised well to climb the prosperity ladder.

With the explosion of male socialites living off the sweat of taxpayers, thanks to our new constitutional arrangement, playing escort has become quite a lucrative option for the marginalized female with physical assets.

 The one distinct advantage of becoming a male socialite is that your physical appearance is not half as important as liquidity and no cares for principles either.