Why marriage is overrated nowadays

I am at that age where family, including distant relatives who cannot remember my second name, have began hounding me about when I am getting married. Some even try to convince me that getting married is the best thing for me to do. Unfortunately, I disappoint them  by telling them I am very happy being single.

As a result I have really began to think critically about this marriage business. I have been trying to figure out why people dive into it with so much gusto, and I will be honest with you from what I have observed, seen, heard and read about today’s marriages, I could not be persuaded to walk down the aisle any time soon. Even if prince charming came knocking on my door, promising life full of bliss.

Yes, I will agree there are few who have managed to make their marriages work, but majority give marriage a bad name. And yes, the social media pictures of married couples on Facebook all look very cute. But I am not sure I want to walk down the aisle so that I can have fabulous photos to show off.

Single woman

Besides, every time I get down and dirty and ask the tough questions to my married friends or colleagues they all say something like: “You have to sacrifice a lot, or aki ni ngumu, or one day I will tell you.”

Yet being a single woman these days comes with so many benefits with everything from unlimited freedom, to peace of mind. Also, who can forget that life these days has changed so much so that you can literally get everything that marriage once offered outside of marriage.

Plus I cannot help it, but I am more into numbers and I believe things have to balance, somehow. My ‘love account’ is not an exception. I do not believe in giving your heart and soul in to something and only getting ulcers and mistreatment.

Basically, my beef with marriage today is that some men expect you as the woman to take care of them. We no longer have responsible men.

Some time back, when a woman got married, she was assured of financial security. But not any more. To get financial assistance from some husbands today, women have to beg.

Others have the money, but are very irresponsible. They rather buy friends beer in bars and leave their wives and children starving at home.

Secondly, you get to play both the role of mother and father because most men nowadays are ‘absentee parents’ who kids only get to see on weekends. These are men who think fatherhood is all about taking your children out for a Sunday treat, paying for upkeep and then disappearing from home for the rest of the days.

Then there is the issue of the mistress, which is almost part and parcel of modern-day marriages. 

I do not know about you, but it is just not attractive. I think the kind of man I’m looking for just doesn’t exist around here. I want a ‘peculiar marriage’ where there is equality, respect, sacrifice and love from both ends. And until then I am a very happy single lady.