Women who carry condoms

                     Women who carry condoms      Photo: Courtesy

If there ever was a debate that sexes are diametrically opposed, then it is on who should carry or stock condoms.

Even in the era of information, immense media exposure and exhausting reality of HIV/Aids and other dangers of unprotected sex, men are adamant that women should not carry condoms.

Never mind we’re in the 21st century.   But more and more women are dropping the prudish societal expectations and adapting a more realistic approach towards sexual safety.

They are sexually bold

Indeed, over the last decade, there has been a steady and growth in the number of women who carry condoms in their handbags, or stock them up in their bedrooms.

They are sexually bold. Liberated, radical if you will.

 On average, a college educated, sexually athletic, working class woman is more likely to have condoms at her disposal, ‘just-in-case’ the craving strikes. And condoms are a big deal. So much so, they now have a day dedicated to them.

  On February 14, Nairobi joined other cities in the world to mark the International Condoms’ Day, a day chosen to coincide with Valentine’s or Lover’s Day.

Some women carried condoms that day for the expected evening romp after being wined and dined.

Listen to advocates of women carrying rubber. Like one Sasha Kaloki. She is a 26-year-old food science graduate from the University of Nairobi who reckons it’s a good idea as “you never know when the urge will strike. There is nothing wrong by playing safe.”

Does she stock?

 “Yeah, I have in the past when I was dating. They offer a sense of security,” she offers matter-of-factly.

 Disappointingly the craving never struck and all along they were just but a waste of space in her bag. But according to her, “women who don’t carry ‘CDs’ are the pretentious types who want you to believe they aren’t getting some when the truth is, they are even more active. They are just in denial.”

Another   monosyllabically identified herself as Lilian waxed philosophical: “It doesn’t make sense to complain when women carry condoms in this era of HIV, abortions and rampant immorality, that is the safe way to go. Any woman who has gone to school should know this. Let us drop the double standards.”

 Judy Maranga, a programme officer with a local NGO, is unequivocal and dismissive of judgmental men.

“If a man judges based on the fact that you carry condoms, he ain’t worth dating.”

 

It’s all playing safe

 The women we spoke to either carry rubber or their peers do. It is no big deal.  And misgivings from men are never a deterrence.

“It is about me, if it will make him uncomfortable, I’m sorry. He can go to those he thinks are safer than me,” says Susan Anyango, an accountant. 

 But there is a problem here, folks.

Just ask any man next to you what he thinks of women who carry condoms in their ‘fornication’ handbags and sure as tomorrow is Saturday, he will be opposed to it. Period.

  Men’s answers range from the reluctant, “Mmh, it shows she is cautious, but still I can’t date her beyond such a revelation.” For other domestic dictators, it is a blatant NO to these women who are bold enough to carry condoms, yet the bias from men could be a continues hindrance in the fight against the spread of HIV. 

 Listen to Paul Letangule, a freelance journalist: “That is a dangerous woman.  I will run,” says the 33-year-old about a chick having vanilla flavoured condoms snuggled next to her Galaxy cellphone in her Burberry handbag.

Paul’s position is shared by more than half the men we interviewed.

 Most haboured pervasive fear that a woman who carries condoms could be loosely ‘generous’ and dangerous.

 John Muli, an event’s organiser said that, while he could be taken aback by such a lass, he still can’t let the opportunity to gird his loins go, and would sleep with the condom lady nonetheless, but a long-term relationship would be a rubbery issue to discuss.

It is out of question.

“I never really mind, other than that nagging worry about her sexual lifestyle. But it is never a deterrence,” pipes the 28-year old.

 In a country torn between swelling secularism and thawing conservative and ‘fundamentalist’ Christianity, the subject of condoms often draws such ambivalent views.