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I am sitting somewhere minding my business when I overhear two Gen Zs discuss their ideal marriage. They talk about how a dream man should be one that is rich enough to fly them to Maldives and buy them a home in Nyali.
They go ahead to talk about some celebrities whose lives they would like to emulate. One of them quips.
"Mimi siwezi olewa na msee hana doh"
I worry that the current generation's perception of marriage is very skewed. No one is telling them what marriage is all about, instead they are imbibing all they see on social media and using it as a yardstick to decide what a successful marriage should look like.
The truth is marriage is hard, the glamour that we see on social media doesn't even make up for a third of what marriage is about. Marriage is not about the well-planned proposals or the exquisite weddings and honeymoons. Marriage is not the perfect pictures that couples post of themselves vacationing and having fun with friends.
Perhaps it's time for people who have had successful marriages to be honest about what marriage is all about. With the understanding that we only show to the world the best of us, anyone intending to get married should not use posts on social media to gauge what a successful marriage should look like. Marriage is a commitment and being committed to someone sometimes entails compromising.
Being married to someone means seeing them at their worst and still accepting them. It means embracing their virtues and also tolerating their flaws. It means not always getting what you want and not throwing tantrums.
While wealth and money makes us comfortable, one can still have a successful marriage without these excesses. Bearing in mind that marriage is not a poverty eradication project, anyone dreaming to go to Maldives should work towards getting themselves there and not wait for a marriage certificate to take them there. Our ambitions should shift from getting rich partners to furnish our lives to working hard to achieve what we want.
