Smart women are a turn on

I would like to condemn quite vehemently the widely-held belief that intelligent women are difficult, unapproachable, arrogant, or, in layman's terms, 'purveyors of madharau'.

On the contrary, intelligent women are God's gift to man. Remember how bored the first man was, counting sheep and naming cows before he was blessed with a sharp woman who immediately livened things up in the suburbs of Eden? We all know about Helen of Troy, who parlayed her beauty and budding cougar status into a memorable war. These were smart women, bending the world to their will.

They know, these brilliant women, how invaluable they are to the species. Without them, for instance, the gene pool will slowly lose potency, until we have three straight mbogi genje generations. They are facing a fierce rally from light-skinned women, but we shall prevail.

So what if they're sometimes overly specific about their titles and accomplishments? Insisting, upon meeting, to be referred to as 'Doctor' or 'Engineer', and not 'Totois' or 'Caro'. I have it on good authority that even in bed, in the heaving mist and chaos of 'battle', calling the good doctor by her government name can dampen activities significantly. Don't ask her who her daddy is, you fool, ask her who her dissertation supervisor is as you rock away. "May I spank you, daktari?"

She spent upwards of five more years with her head buried in books more than her peers, who have in that time brought to term two of the six pregnancies they picked up along the dirt road of life. She is well-read, well-traveled, and seasoned in the ways of the scholar. You can drop her into any conversation and she'll hold her own; even amongst greying professors with tweed jackets. She deserves some respect, damn it!

Of course, some imbecile will say she has a resting bitch face. But that's inaccurate. Her resting face is in fact curious because she is beset at all times by complex thoughts and deep philosophical considerations. She is debating BBI with herself in her head, leave her alone. She isn't frowning, her brows are just like that since she never bothered to shave them off and sketch them into a more genial arch. The intensity of her eyes has nothing to do with you; she is just reliving the moment she finally got her doctorate and wondering if the one fumbling orgasm she received that one time was as exhilarating.

She isn't a bitch either. She just has very lofty standards when it comes to men, and she refuses to be engaged by young boys who can only ever get philosophical when discussing Pep Guardiola. So, she doesn't respond to charm. Pick-up lines amuse her. Your souped-up Subaru would fold like a dry leaf if she just tapped it lightly with her Range Rover, so stop using its keys to gesture.

No, she wants you to find a way to draw her brain out, lay it on the table, and make love to it. Twice and then again in the morning. Her radar for weak men is finely tuned.

Within minutes of meeting you, she can figure out whether or not you'll be able to handle her, and her apparent disinterest is actually a result of her having deemed you unworthy

. And she means no offense by it. She knows hautawezana, and she's sparing you the embarrassment of trying. It's only when you push a little too hard that the madharau creeps in.

Unfortunately, some intelligent women give the rest a bad name. Intelligence and aggression are very distant cousins, several times removed, but I can understand why some people conflate the two. It can be very tempting, when arguing with an idiot, to throw out "I have two degrees." It would be frustrating to be challenged by people who aren't experts in your field.

In a world that listens readily to the nearest man but demands to know how qualified the female expert is, I can see how Dr Caro might lose her cool. She has to be aggressive just to be heard. Sometimes, she forgets to turn the switch off when she goes out for drinks.

I firmly believe that men are not intimidated by intelligent women as society would have us believe. Rather, it is the idea that intelligence begets insubordination and arrogance that they're unwilling to engage with. Because if there's one flaw those brilliant women have, it is their tendency to fall back on their superior intellect when confronted. It's both a blessing and a curse because a smart woman forgets rather easily that genitals have no IQ.

I, personally, have a weakness for hoodrats that I constantly amuse my mother with. But I have also sampled from the clear waters of the sharp, witty woman, and I have to say fellas, it was the closest I came to settling down.

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@sir_guss