Be careful how you behave, your kids are watching

When we were growing up, it was drilled into our heads that first-borns had to behave  properly because they were the role models for their younger siblings. Since society took care of all children, most parents in the hood were careful how they behaved. We were guided by statements like, “Usiingie bar, hiyo ni ya watu wazima,” or “Usifanye hiyo tabia, ni ya watu wazima.”

I have said here before that while growing up in Buru Phase II, Mausoleum Bar (now Taurus Bar) was the first and only bar in the area after opening its doors in 1978. The Buru shopping centre was the equivalent of today’s malls. One William Okumu made sure none of the boys from our Kapsiliet Court stepped near that bar.

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Okumu provided balls so that we could play on the football fields around the court. He knew that if we saw adults drunk and misbehaving, we could be tempted to do the same.

To the new woiiee parents of mtu-aguse-mtoto-wangu-aone notoriety, take note of the following, which I borrowed from someone’s timeline: If you are a parent and half of your fridge is stocked with alcohol, don’t try to tell your kids pombe ni mbaya, because you are showing them that it is easy to access alcohol. In our days, alcohol was kept under lock and key in sideboards that were in every home.

If you are a parent and you smoke in the presence of your children, don’t accuse the devil of invading your house when your kids start smoking in school. We all know smoking is a very bad habit that is difficult to kick.

If you are a parent and violence is the order of the day in your house, don’t start mourning when your kids become bullies in school and the neighbourhood. Whatever happened to handling disagreements with decorum, when our parents solved their differences and argued in the bedroom and came out smiling? This is what made us look forward to marriage, not knowing it has its up and downs.

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If you are a mother and dress in a ‘handkerchief’ in the guise of sexy skirt, or don tight pants in front of your children, be informed that will be their mode of dressing as well. Then they will dismiss you with a ‘my dress, my choice’ self-righteousness. If  your children only see you when you are crawling back into the house in the wee hours from pubs, don’t shout at your daughters when they dress the same or come home late. During our time, 6pm was the curfew time and there was no excuse for being late.

If you are a parent and you only go to church during funerals and weddings, don’t condemn your kids for becoming the devil’s laboratory or guinea pigs for all kinds of evil ‘experiments.’ Some of us were brought up with the fear of God. Missing church was considered a sin, unlike the present generation that don’t pray in the morning, during meals or in the evening to thank the Lord. As kids, we of the same religion as our parents. You only had the liberty to choose your religion after becoming an adult.

if you are a parent and post nonsense on your social media timeline, just know your kids will be worse. It is a digital world and believe me you, they will read your comments someday, somehow.

To the new generation, as much as you advocate for rights of children, when it comes to discipline, keep in mind that your children will be a reflection of who you are - monkey see, monkey do!

So, if you think you are a slay queen or slay king and decide to post nude pictures or photos of yourself in various states of misdemeanour, you should know that the internet never forgets. In years to come, your children will do the same and you won’t be able to question them. 

 - ojiamboainea@yahoo.com

 @AineaOjiambo