I am in my final lap as a comrade, which is
pointless considering plumbers without the knowledge of Y chromosome earn more
than a graduate in a month.
I can definitively affirm that a university
boy dating or buying a campus girl pizza, mutura or drinks is a shoddy
investment whose returns can make you a broke campus dad.
My guy, the future of any bright campus
dude is in attracting, getting and maintaining a 28 or 38-year-old employed
sugar babe because in this era of vindu vichenjanga, the campus boy drowns in a
pool of debts, betting addiction and dry spells as campus babes strut around in
30-shilling tights, fifty-shilling crop-tops, drinking our fathers’ money
whilst rubbing their poisoned buttocks on our daddies’ potbellies and earning
pocket money that isn’t theirs by birthright.
This era’s sugar mommy understands shimmy shimmy yay shimiyo shimiyay, she
can bra bra bila kusikia and she
isn’t ‘dame wa mashisha’. She buys
her drinks and your drinks bro (imagine three cold beers trembling in fear of
your thirst?) And she doesn’t ask for your 100 shillings in a club to buy water
because ‘anaskia amelemewa’; she
handles her liquor well. Then ikifika
wakati ‘waku-get-it’ she orders an Uber, pays and even settles the bill for
protection.
If any ‘enlightened’ campus bro seeks to
stay afloat this tough economy, the loophole is in getting a sugar girl for
free at an easy fee. The important things in campus like weed, a romp in the
hay, alcohol and a good time in a club can be fully provided by a 28 year old
employed sugar babe who can buy breakfast and give you bus fare to campus.
All this enticing Campus girls in clubs are
just broke ladies in cheap shoes earning drinks and attention from the currency
of their looks and behinds because we have dotted on them. Gave them the
unfounded thought that their presence in our tumultuous campus life as men of
higher learning is godsend. And now that the semester is in a coma who and
where in this our land and nation will a campus dude lay? Brothers, my sermon
is over. Can we now get ourselves some sugar-babes?
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