The power of self-acceptance when life gets tough

A sad woman deep in thought. (Courtesy/istockphoto)

Life is unpredictable and full of unexpected turns, leading us down paths we didn’t anticipate. And many times despite our best efforts, things don’t always go the way we plan.

Whether it’s a career setback, a challenging relationship or simply the feeling of being overwhelmed by the weight of responsibilities, tough times are inevitable for all of us. During those moments, the best thing you can do for yourself is to have self-acceptance.

Sure, it is not easy and regardless of what is going on internally or externally, the one thing you should do is to be kind to yourself especially when things aren’t going well.

When things go south, most of us fall into a pattern of self-criticism. We may blame ourselves for our missteps, focus on our perceived failures and feel inadequate when compared to others who seem to be doing better.

This negative self-talk can be especially strong when we’re going through a rough patch in life making it feel like we are somehow less worthy of catching a break.

The problem with this is that it can create a vicious cycle. The more you beat yourself up, the harder it becomes to take the necessary steps. Instead of learning from your mistakes or finding ways to change the situation, we become paralyzed by shame and self-doubt.

This is where self-acceptance comes into play. It allows us to acknowledge that, yes, we might have made a mistake or things might not be going our way but that does not define who we are as a person.

Dr Kristin Neff, a leading researcher, explains that self-acceptance is closely tied to self-compassion. She breaks it down to self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness.

In practice what this means is, treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a close friend or loved one that is struggling.

Instead of harshly criticising yourself, be patient and understanding. Acknowledge that setbacks are a natural part of life and deal with them as they come.

As easy as it is to feel as though you are unworthy when you fail to meet unreachable standards, accept that vulnerabilities and flaws are part of what make us human.

It’s important to remember that even in moments of struggle, you’re still deserving of love and respect. Change how you talk to yourself and speak positive affirmations in your life.