Handling past painful experiences

Handling past painful experiences (Photo: iStock)

There are certain thoughts we wish we would never remember but those are the very ones we can’t stop thinking about. Especially, if they were traumatic in nature.

But with the way our brain works, after a difficult experience we begin to reflect on a painful past, which allows us to process our emotions and understand the impact of these experiences.

Is it really necessary? Not always, but it will happen, especially if you encounter some triggers.

Reflecting on a painful past often involves confronting a range of emotions including sadness, anger, fear and guilt depending on what you went through.

It is essential to acknowledge and accept these feelings without judgment. Suppressing emotions can prolong the healing process and hinder our ability to move forward.

Dr Brené Brown, a renowned researcher and author, emphasises on the importance of vulnerability in healing from past pain.

She argues that by embracing our emotions and allowing ourselves to be seen, we can cultivate resilience and deepen our connections with others. While this may be easier said than done, it is highly recommended.

How you can go about it is by identifying negative thoughts then replacing them with more positive and realistic ones. In short, distract yourself with something else. You could do this by participating in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment.

While at it, treat yourself with some kindness and understanding. This may be difficult if you played a role in those negative experiences but try. However, without forgiving yourself you cannot move forward.

To help you set the ball rolling, start writing about your experiences. This can provide a valuable outlet for emotional expression especially if you prefer to keep your feelings private.

With time, it will help you identify patterns and underlying beliefs that may be contributing to your pain which is a good thing. You can now be able to know how to navigate through it. With this new found awareness of your thoughts and emotions you can observe your reactions and begin to loosen their grip.

Sharing your experiences with trusted friends, family or a therapist can also offer comfort and perspective. A support system can provide encouragement and practical advice during the healing process.

If not, a therapist can provide a safe and supportive space for you to explore your past and develop healthy coping mechanisms.