Signs you are in a loveless marriage and when to walk away

A woman removing her wedding ring [iStockphoto]

If people in sexless marriages don’t address the incompatibility between them, they may start to wonder when to walk away from the relationship. If you are considering leaving a sexless relationship tactfully, here are key scenarios to keep in mind.

You Want Intimacy, But Not with Your Spouse

For one reason or another, you may no longer feel attracted to your partner, which can lead to a lack of intimacy. The issue becomes more concerning if you feel physically attracted to others, but not to your partner. This is a major sign of a loveless marriage.

Your Partner Is Not Willing to Work on the Issues

Problems can often be solved when both people are willing to work on them. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your needs and desires, listen to their perspective, and show genuine interest in how intimacy could improve for both of you. If you’ve done all this and more but your partner still refuses to work on improving your relationship, it may be time to consider walking away.

You Have Tried, but Your Efforts Are Futile

Both you and your partner may have been trying to improve your intimacy without success. Despite your commitment, you may find that you’re sexually incompatible. What excites you might be a turn-off for them, and vice versa.

Sexual Issues Are Only the Tip of the Iceberg

Often, a lack of intimacy is just one sign of broader relationship dissatisfaction. Other significant issues, such as disagreements about money, parenting, power struggles, constant arguing, or even physical, emotional, or substance abuse, may be influencing your decision to consider divorce. Unless these issues are addressed, they may ultimately lead to separation.

You Both Have Different Sexual Preferences and Drives

If your sexual drives are mismatched, and if one partner has a much higher sex drive, this can lead to hurt feelings upon rejection. Over time, the partner with the higher drive may feel incomplete or inadequate in the relationship.

Infidelity Is Involved

If a sexless marriage is due to infidelity, this may be a clear sign to walk away. In such cases, intimacy often becomes challenging due to the lack of trust and the presence of suspicion.

Your Partner Is Withholding Sex to Exercise Control

If your partner withholds sex as a way to gain control over you, or if they do so because you don’t agree to certain terms, recognize that this is a form of abuse. If communication hasn’t helped resolve this, it may be best to leave the relationship.