Left behind: How to deal with 'lost' time

A sad woman by the window. (Courtesy)

The experience of feeling as though you have wasted time is very common especially as you grow older and the pressure that comes from society on achievement and productivity.

Even small things like seeing your friends get married and shortly thereafter they’re a complete family with little ones, your nieces and nephews are now in college while you seem stuck in the same place can trigger anxiety, regret and a sense of stagnation.

Acknowledging these feelings is the first step in the healing process. Rather than viewing regret as a burden, use it as an opportunity for introspection and personal growth.

Although it will not come easy, just try. Some of the issues stem from financial challenges but don’t let it discourage you from taking a positive step in the right direction.

You can start by reframing your perspective. Instead of focusing solely on what has been lost, it is better to evaluate the lessons learned during those periods.

Each experience, even if not directly aligned with your aspirations contribute to some personal development but only if you choose to look at them that way. By reflecting on past choices, you can uncover valuable skills and insights that you can now use to shape your current identity.

By transforming your past into a foundational journey it can lead to a newfound clarity about where you want to go in life.

Unfortunately many of us set unrealistic goals especially when we’re young. You hope to be a billionaire at 27, have a PHD by 24, get married and have children at 25, run your own successful empire by 26....

It is good to dream and aim high but unattainable goals will be the beginning of your misery. As if that isn’t bad enough, you begin to compare your achievements to those of your peers. Comparison is the thief of joy.

To help alleviate feelings of despair about time gone, take action. For instance, you can enrol for evening or online classes to achieve your failed education aspirations. Such a proactive approach allows you to gradually shift your focus towards new goals while managing your current situation.

Cultivating a growth mind set is another essential component of overcoming feelings of wasted time. Embracing the belief that skills and abilities can be developed through effort and persistence enables one to navigate their paths with renewed vigour.

This can be engaging in new activities, pursuing past hobbies or changing careers. If you do this, it will reinforce the idea that it is never too late to pursue one’s interests and make a positive change.

But if the feeling becomes overwhelming to the point of affecting your sleep and overall health, talk to someone. You will be amazed at how literally everyone is dealing with this problem just in different ways.

If that doesn’t help, then seek professional mentors who can provide valuable insights and encouragement. A therapist will also help you remove layers of that onion down to the root cause and give you the guidance and tools you need to navigate this season of your life.