Ten funny neighbours kwa ploti ya mabati

Mabati houses. (Courtesy)

While there are different challenges associated with living in mabati houses, life there could be quite entertaining, funny and amusing, courtesy of neighbours.  From neighbours trying to peep through a hole separating the two houses to check your secret rendezvous to those who have to make funny sounds while doing their things. Here are ten types of neighbours you are likely to encounter in any mabati ploti in Kenya.

1. The peeping neighbour

He will peep through the small hole in the mabati wall separating your two houses to see your secret rendezvous. You may also have the same urge out of curiosity about the kind of visitor he has brought over this time round and then lol! You pump each other.

2. Adult game lovers

From the sounds they make each passing day, they surely seem to enjoy the love game. For them, this is like food which they can’t live without. Woe unto if you are single for you will be forced to kula kwa macho each single day. The worst thing is that you will be hearing every move they make and most of the time this will keep you wide awake.

3. Kiherehere

He will be hijacking your conversations with the person you are with in your room whether or not it concerns him. He can even start mushene with you right from his room and doesn’t want to know whether or not you are interested.

4. The quarrelling

Usually a couple who are never in good terms; they will always be fighting, insulting each other with unprintable words or even breaking things in their own house. You will be forced to switch off your music system just to get entertained by the incessant insults and the back and forth confrontations going on next door. The rule however; is that nobody shall intervene lest you find yourself in a dilemma.

5. Intruder

She is fond of intruding especially when food time is almost ready. Often, she comes up with made up stories but on the back of her is the food agenda.  She rarely cooks in her house and mostly depends on neighbors like you to get filled up. She will pretend not to want to eat when you invite her but she will be the last person to leave the table.

6. The loud music chap

He always puts his woofer on top to make people know he owns the latest gadget. You always get irritated since you can’t even rest during your free time but what else will you do? As much as you may try to inform him about the noise, he will always laugh you off and remind you that that is not your plot.

7. The ever-absent chap

The guy from Kakamega works as a watchman but doubles up as kibarua guy during the day. So he is rarely found in the house which is always silent.  You will only hear him coughing once in a while after which he again disappears for some months. In fact, you won’t even know what real name is.

8. The host and party animal

She is always hosting visitors whom she claims are her besties and friends. While in the house, they always speak on high voice without a care in the world whether or not there are other chaps who were on night shift and need to rest. 

9. The lone ranger

He is always a lone and rarely talks, even greets neighbours. Most of the time, he spends his time indoors watching DJ Afro movies. You also don’t see him with anybody of the opposite sex and is always the subject of mushene from other plot dwellers. 

10. Kisirani

She is never in good terms with neighbours; always quarrelling of why ulianika nguo kwa kamba yake or why uliweka uchafu karibu na mlango yake. You will even find the clothes you aired on her line on your door and she will even confront you when you have visitors on why you didn’t wash your verandah.