The occupational hazards of dealing with thieves, and idiots with overdrawn accounts

Masked thief using a phone. [Courtesy/GettyImages]

“Is that KCB Kakamega?” an anxious voice said on Wednesday morning when I answered my cellphone. “My name is Edwin and my account has been overdrawn, but I have some money coming…”

It was just after nine, the sun was shining. Before me was a bowl of fruit, the pink from the dragon fruit flavouring my mood with a certain cheerfulness. This is a private number, I said calmly and disconnected the call.

The phone rang again. “I said I’m calling KCB Kakamega,” the man said with a new measure of aggression. “Why are you being foolish by disconnecting??” Before I could mouth a fair-sized epithet, because I still had food in the mouth, the man issued a string of insults so I had to distance the earpiece from my ear and disconnect for the second time.

Why would a gentle, middle-aged man not be left to enjoy a bowl of fruit on a bright Wednesday morning, just because some idiot from Kakamega had overdrawn his account? Had I used his cash to buy fruits?

I was so rattled by the irrationality of the morning caller that I went to a nearby coffee shop just to calm down. I wanted to pick something for the youngest man of the house. I was met by Daisy, who has served me often.

I inquired about her day. She hesitated for a moment then opened up. “It is not been easy,” she confessed, her eyes tearing up. Then she narrated about a regular customer who had visited the establishment, ate his fill, then purported to have paid via Mpesa.

But no cash came through, so Daisy was surcharged some Sh2,500. The crooked customer still sits at the coffee shop, Daisy said, but he has refused to show any proof of ever making the payment. Next time he comes here, I advised, let him know there is no difference between him and a thief.

Heading back home, I felt better.

If all I have to deal with is the occasional rant from a Kakamega idiot who has overdrawn his account, and somehow thinks I am responsible for it, that’s a lot easier than Daisy who has to deal with potential thieves, every day.