Behold, the crowning glory of a doctorate from Bus Stop Number 9, Lagos, Nigeria

I have exciting news on the personal front: I have been nominated for an honorary doctorate from Crown University, Delaware, in collaboration with an entity called Centre for Public Service Productivity & Development and Association of Pension Desk Practitioners Nigeria.

I have no idea what I have done to merit such lofty recognition in this early stage of my professional life. No citation has been offered, or even whether I have a choice to reject or accept the nomination.

An online search for "Crown University, Delaware," has yielded a blank, though there is a prompt to look up a different entity called "Crown College." A search for Centre for Public Service Productivity & Development is identified as Bus Stop Number 9 Ogunlesi St, Onipanu, Lagos, Nigeria.

Well, if the university is at a bus stop, then that's perfect for those of us from the school of life. The venue for the coronation is indicated as the University of Lagos, a public university in Lagos, Nigeria, that has no affiliations with Crown University, Delaware. It is unclear why the hosts would opt to take their celebrations away from home grounds.

What's clear, though, is that a fee of $1,000 is required, even though that's only contingent upon verification from the Programme Coordinator, whose WhatsApp Number is provided, to establish if nominees meet their standards. To "assist the Award Selection Committee in making a final selection," I am required to email my profile to the aforementioned WhatsApp number.

That means some vetting will be in progress before my honorary doctorate is in the bag, so to speak, even though the email notification started with a congratulatory message affirming my nomination.

By this public notice, I hereby declare that I am least qualified for the award of an honorary doctorate from this school from Bus Stop 9 in Lagos, because I can secure one more cheaply from our very own River Road. Still, there is something to celebrate: Seeing that ordinary folks can earn doctorates based on resumes shared on WhatsApp, Lagos is light years ahead of the rest of us in monetising social media.