Why good women are throwing money at bad men

Why women are throwing good money at bad men (Photo: iStock)

The flurry of disclosures on social media about men who swindle ladies of money caught me by surprise. These men promise love and marriage to women with stable income to open their purse.

The old hypergamy trend is for women to seek men with enough resources to look after them and their children. However, as more and more women are getting into the market to make money and be independent, men seem to be upsetting the cart.

A new breed of men is training their nostrils on women with disposable income. They sniff them from their social media posts. Baits are sent into the inbox and the ladies swallow it hook, line and sinker.

I read posts from ladies about ignoring inboxes from men they call simps. This breed knows how to catch their attention. The engrained desire of every woman to be loved means they will never miss a victim.

It led me to think about evolution and how, over time, people have changed.

Certain characteristic were vital for our ancestor’s survival and they passed it down to us. Will Lord Laro’s prophetic song, Woman Ruler, come to pass. Will women be cracking dirty jokes in bars as they strategise how to fund the men in their lives?

Charles Darwin is remembered for his 1859 theory of evolution by natural selection, which is summarised as survival for the fittest. Only the species with traits that enable them adapt to their environment survive and procreate.

Less adaptive individuals will seldom survive to pass down the trait to the next generation. Over time, the strong traits that help a species adapt dominate the population.

In 1859, Darwin did not know about genetics and how they carry the traits being passed down generations.

He was reasoning from the physical features he saw in animals. With the advent of genetics, however, survival for the fittest changed to ability to survive and reproduce.

In the olden times when men went hunting for food and fight for territory and women were common, physical fitness was vital. You can imagine people who were born with physical challenges back in history.

Language appeared suddenly in the course of human evolution and changed the course of human behaviour. It is believed that language came when people developed public accountability and social trust.

Which brings us to emotions. Language enabled man, unlike other animals to send wrong signals. We can say what we don’t mean and believe in something without the courage to say it.

Back in the day, sex was only for procreation. The male who was strong enough to hunt and bring food and protect the female who was nurturing had more sex.

However, language and money combine to give men “game”. Ironically, men with money are low on game and men with no money compensate with a good game.

It is all adaptation: you play to your strengths and increase your chances of procreation. These men preying on ladies for their money have cracked a new counter code in the dating game.

Men are known to throw money to win over women, more so men low on game.

It comes from medieval trait of displaying your catch from a hunt. Women also have their inbuilt game to attract and nail a man. It is about enhancing beauty in the attractive areas and swinging them at the right velocity.

It is subtle and covert but the men with game know how to read a woman’s cues so as to begin the chase. When he begins the chase, the lady plays hard to get to raise the man’s desire for long term pairing.

When did ladies start throwing money to tie down men like moneyed men who think money will solve everything?

The women give big sums to men they hardly know, and who they met online with filtered profile pictures and stories. We can still blame witchcraft. Money is good, it brings independence even if happiness may elude you. With money you can buy temporary joy to compensate.

Women struggling to attract men for whatever reason are susceptible to this. The other is single women gazing at the biological clock and struggling to pull back their diminishing feminine beauty.

Then there are ladies low on girl game. These are the ladies who think that with their money and independence, men owe them attention. These are ladies most likely to throw money at hints of love. Their deep desires spill out like blood that conmen smell like sharks.  

Kahil Gibran said that, “Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most love (and money) is lost.”

The women who will thrive in love in the coming days are those with strong emotional intelligence to hear what is not being said. Emotional Intelligence in brief is the ability to understand yourself and understand others. Social Intelligence builds on it.

Modern life has changed many social dynamics. When the bird hunter grasps the art of aiming without missing, to survive, birds must learn to fly without perching.