My boss checks my posts on social media

My boss checks my posts on social media (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

I enjoy using social media, but I have had one or two bad experiences. For example, my boss has been sniffy about a few of my posts.

Any advice?

Online Problems

Chris says,

Hi Online Problems!

The online world is fun, but putting all that information out there does have some downsides.

Because widely different groups of people can see you online. You will be judged by your online friends and thoughtless attractive and trustworthy if they don't like the look of the company you keep.

You probably also behave differently online. Less inhibited and more self-centred. And might well say things online that you'd never say in real life. Spoiling your reputation and wrecking relationships. it is easy to disclose more personal information than you intend, only to regret it later.

There is also a false sense of intimacy. You feel you know your online friends, even when you do not. Online relationships feel more intense and committed than they are.

And your online conversations can easily upset the people closest to you.

You probably would not go out drinking with your mates and leave your partner behind on their own. But somehow ignoring them while you are online feels OK. It is not.

Emotions also seem to work differently online. Your successes feel smaller and your failures bigger. And it is all too easy to get caught up in other people's online lives, at the expense of your own. You feel you are connecting, but you are not really. Real laughter over dinner with friends feels quite different to messaging.

Face-to-face politeness also gets lost online. You can be mean in ways you would never be in real life. Because not seeing your partner's hurt response means you feel you are not doing any harm. But you are. It is far easier to upset someone online than face to face.

And a thoughtless remark can go right round the world, and do lasting damage to your reputation. So if you need to work something out with someone, do it in person.

Take care online, especially concerning your work and those closest to you

All the best,

Chris