Why it's not always milk and honey with the jobs abroad

A sad domestic worker. (Courtesy/iStock)

The government has come out strongly in the push to send Kenyans to work abroad. The Kenyan diaspora is becoming the forty-fifth tribe in our tribal country. This is coming up more than two decades since Kenyan women began to move to the gulf to work as domestic workers. The world has become a global village and labour will move from points of high concentration to zones where it is needed.

But there is need for caution!

A few years ago, there were calls for the government to ban Kenyan ladies from going to the Gulf for domestic work. The stories of Kenyan women working like slaves, undergoing sexual abuse and physical assaults were very common. They even set up a forum where they shared their experiences.

Diana Chepkemoi was rescued from her cruel employer’s house in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia and landed at JKIA in September 2022. Ironically, the day she arrived, another planeload of Kenyan ladies were on their way to the Gulf. Kenyans will continue to go and fight with destiny.

Meanwhile, what these relocations are doing is delaying these young single Kenyans from setting up their families. Those who are married will break their families, some temporarily others permanently.

In the initial days of long distance relationships, people are enthusiastic. Then the frequency of calls goes from once in two days, then four and, finally, once a week looks very sufficient before it becomes a few weeks. Then life happens on both sides, and both parties “move on” with the new normal. Then they watch their once vibrant and loving relationship slowly going down the sea that sits somewhere between the land that separates them. Now place the wife or husband left behind in Kenya with the children.

The money that they agreed they will be sent every month or two weeks suddenly becomes insufficient. The spouse who is working abroad now gets new standards and begins to feel that the one left in Kenya is not responsible with what is being remitted. The camel back breaks the day they come back and find that the project that was supposed to be complete has not even started. Money has a way of lying to us, that we will get more from somewhere and refund what we have spent.

Then comes my huge concern. The single mothers who leave their children with relatives so as to eke out a living and secure their future.  In this age of individuality, very few relatives can take in a child wholeheartedly. May be even only your mother can stand in for and cover all bases as you struggle to earn that needed money for your children’s well-being.  In such a scenario, the ladies who have left their children behind have taken a huge gamble on their care and nurturing.

Absent mothers lead to struggle with feelings of abandonment and neglect in the children. The effect is struggles with emotional security, self-worth and trust. These led to anxiety disorders, depression, and struggles with identity. It manifests as self-sabotage traits that are revealed mostly in romantic relationships.

So, as we seek more opportunities abroad, especially for our young ladies, we must look at the long term effect of broken families and absent single mothers. The money that is being sent back as the high value diaspora remittance, could be a poisoned chalice at the family level.