Why Gen Z fear marriage more than police bullets

A failed marriage proposal. (Courtesy/iStock)

Young men and women of this country are pressing for real change in how governance and public affairs are run. Generation Z (Gen Z) is not about to let business run as usual. But there is a weird message that emerged in their protests recently.

One of the placards the demonstrators raised during the recent demonstrations read: "We Only Fear God and Marriage."

Why would a generation be averse to such a noble institution and proudly and loudly proclaim it? How bad have their parents' marriages played out that they do not want anything to do with it?

Let us look at Vasopressin, a hormone synthesised at the gene level for several animals. It has two main physiological functions in the human body. Enhancing the reabsorption of water into the system by the kidney is the first one. When the brain induces its release in high volumes, it increases blood pressure in arteries when the body needs to do so, like during physical exercise.

However, the third function is not as urgent as the need for the first two, but it is still very important. Vasopressin may be released directly into the brain as an important enhancer of social behaviour, sexual motivation, and heterosexual bonding. It is also vital in maternal responses to stress. This is where Gen Zs come in with their fear of marriage, which is social bonding, especially for men.

Vasopressin, acting centrally, reinforces territorial aggression, mate guarding, and pair bonding in males. Scientists say it is central in differentiating monogamy and polygamy in several species. The distribution of Vasopressin and its receptors in the brain is associated with patterns of social behaviour in animals. Low distribution of receptors in a species means that they are inclined to polygamy. It is actually the hormone that triggered the evolution of human society into family units.

On the other hand, Oxytocin is the hormone that promotes mother-baby bonding, love in relationships, sexual attraction, and empathy in women. It is also produced in men to counter testosterone, but it is vital for women. You can call it love juice. The two hormones are secreted whenever there is sexual or pre-sexual activity in men and women. They promote monogamy and pair bonding.

Research on Prairie Voles, small rodents in the grasslands of North America, has opened a door into understanding pair bonding in humans. Oxytocin is induced by touching, hugging, and the feeling of warmth and leads to low testosterone levels in men. Men release oxytocin only when they are in love, while women produce it during sex. Women fall more and more in love with a man as she has sex with him, but it doesn’t work the same for men. This generation could be having more sex with no chance for long-term bonding because ladies have made it too available.

Men produce oxytocin when they hold their baby. It inhibits them from competing for attention with the baby and makes them more supportive of the mother. The baby-daddy culture means that men go around with high levels of testosterone, leading to more children out of wedlock. Men are happy to have children without being tied down to commit.

Meanwhile, love begins as stress with anxiety, uncertainty, and apprehension. All these are things the mental health-conscious Gen Z are averse to. However, in the long run, love becomes a buffer against stress. I still remember Barack Obama proclaiming to the whole world that Michelle is his rock. That place he goes to hide from the stresses of life.

Gen Z are having sex, but fear long-term relationships. When sex comes in early in the relationship, the man shifts to flight. This is because vasopressin levels drop immediately and stop him from going into the monogamous bonding process. This is where the current generation is shortchanging their relationships. The microwave effect of simply “anguka nayo”.

If the lady makes a man wait for sex, his vasopressin drops rise progressively, and testosterone drops. Playing hard to get is not just a cool attitude not to appear cheap for women. If the woman postpones sex for as long as possible, then pair bonding happens. As this happens, the vasopressin levels in the man’s brain will rise exponentially. As these hormone levels go up, he begins to fall in love with the woman.

The benefits of love are only enjoyed in long-term relationships, which Gen Z is afraid of. They are having sex at the stress level of love without taking it to the stress-relieving level. In this day of mental health awareness, it is good to encourage long-term stable relationships. Like laughter, it is also the best medicine.

Gen Z fears marriage out of a trust deficit. Loss of trust has not only raised the cost of doing business but also the emotional cost of being in a stable relationship. Loss of trust lowers oxytocin levels a great deal, which inhibits the desire to fall in love. Gen Z has inherited our low trust levels, leading to their aversion to marriage. Studies show that men must also decide to love and settle with a woman. Is the new man afraid of making the decision to settle with a woman?