1. The greatest lesson 2019 has taught me, is that being who you are is perfectly OK. That not everyone has to like you, and you do not need to try to get anyone to. All you have to be is the best person you can be and let those that stay in your life stay. And those that walk away walk.
2. That bullies are not just in kindergartens and high schools. No, they are everywhere. And even in your thirties or forties, a bully will try you. So what do you do? You disengage from them and let their negativity roll off you. Letting them affect you is giving them too much power.
3. That children don’t ask for much. They only really want your attention and to know that they matter to you. You don’t have to feel crappy for not throwing a lavish birthday party for them. Or enrolling them in the best private school. No. Just spend some quality time with them. They will think you are the best thing since Kinder Joy.
4. If it doesn’t kill you or traumatise anyone, just do it. Forget society. Thing is, we do many things because we are told that is what is expected of us. I have heard this a lot “mums shouldn’t dress like that,”, “a woman should be nice and not aggressive”. I have seen people stuck in bad marriages because society tells them that marriage is forever, through all bad and good. Well, news flash, society doesn’t care. Everyone has their own problems, and as soon as they air their opinions, they are back to dealing with their issues. Again, the society is not in bed with you as you cry yourself to sleep. You don’t want to spend your limited time on earth unhappy.
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5. No one will make you happy, if you aren’t happy on your own. Do you know how suffocating it would be if you were the entire world to someone? It is a burden, because this other person is a separate entity from you. And being human,you will disappoint them. Don’t put that heavy load on anyone, least of all your children and spouse. Your children will grow beyond needing you and your partner has personal goals beyond you. So find things (like hobbies) that keep your fire alive. If you are lucky, you also find joy in your work.
Those are the most important lessons I have learnt so far. Turn to page 8 and 9, and read what six men from different walks of life have learnt from their personal experiences. Share your life lessons with us on Sundaymagazine@standardmedia.co.ke
