Ladies usually have a hard time choosing Father’s Day gifts for their better halves. In many cases, dads are given the perfunctory, “Happy Father’s Day”. Other dads get an item of clothing, like a tie or pair of happy socks. And well-heeled sisters can gift their men an expensive gadget or the ride of their dream.
Gifts are great. But most, if not all, do not last a lifetime. Below are five gift ideas that will make every single day to be Father’s Day ...
1. A safe heart that can keep secrets
Just a guess, but I think singer-songwriter, Babyface was speaking for many brothers in his song, Never Keeping Secrets, when he sang that he wanted to make up with his woman by not keeping secrets or telling lies.
Some lies stretch from way back in our childhood days. Some are about things that we did. Others are about things that we did to others. They are secrets that are shameful, or make us feel vulnerable, or make us to feel less manly.
We may not want to open up because we feel that what we say may be used against us.
Being a safe heart takes time. Work on it. But once you become that rock that a husband and dad can rely on, he’ll let you in to top secrets that nobody else knows.
2. Inner ears
Men are suffering from mental illness. Depression is taking a toll on brothers and, in some cases, you only come to find out that a brother was crying for help when water has gone under the bridge.
Know your man. Inside out. Have inner ears to discern what’s not being said. And, because all men are different, have the wisdom to know how to respond to “the water’s voice that’s singing and the flame that’s crying”. Know that, for instance, you don’t always need to fight fire with fire.
To quote Senegalese poet, Birago Diop: “Listen more to things than to words that are said/The water’s voice sings and the flame cries.”
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3. A mouth that’s slow to speak
Don’t always rush to speak. Weigh your words. Once again, you know your man. You know which words tick him off ... and which turn him on.
Hell, yeah. You have freedom of speech. But freedom also comes with responsibilities. You can make or kill a man by your words.
4. Accessible shoulders
Forget that old tired lie which claims that real men don’t cry. Jesus was real man numero uno. And the Scripture says that he wept. Plus, at a certain point, via Dolorosa, when he was literally carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, he needed help. Sister, make your shoulders accessible, always, and help that brother out. He’s not asked for help? Good. Offer help. Maybe, just maybe, his pride has got the better of him.
5. Golden buzzer moments
If you’ve watched “Got Talent”, you know that the judges and host have the power to send an act, which they deem worthy, to the semi final. They do this by pressing what’s known as the golden buzzer.
All acts that get this golden treat are surprised. Obviously, they did not see it coming.
Dads are “performers”. Most do whatever it takes to provide for their families. Many don’t get the props from their families or society. Each morning when I walk my daughter to school, we always pass a young brother, at 6 am, setting up his little stand to sell sweets to passersby. “God bless the work of his hands,” I always whisper.
What a dad does to bring home the bacon may seem small and not worth a song. But if you surprise him with a “golden buzzer” - hugs, kisses, a special home-cooked meal - even if his hustle brings loose change, you’ve given him faith to go for a million bucks.