Lady, you are to blame for the men you commit to

Lady, no one forced you to be in the relationships you have been in, or you are in, or the marriage you are in.

Whether you have been in good or bad relationships, you are responsible for your choices.

Even if your parents or society put pressure on you to date or marry, no one forces you to commit.

Look back at your choices in men...

1. Did you foolishly let go of a good man/good men because of useless or petty reasons?

2. Do you see a pattern of you choosing men who are not good for you?

3. Do you see recurring mistakes that lead you to heart breaks?

4. Do you see yourself jumping too quickly into relationships or giving your all to men who do not even declare whether you are a couple or not?

5. Do you see yourself settling for less in men because you have a low self esteem despite you being such an amazing woman with lots of love to give?

6. Do you see yourself being a quitter? Jumping out of good relationships when things get tough?

7. Do you see yourself listening to your girlfriends, society and family in making decisions pertaining to your love life as if you have no mind of your own?

8. Do you see yourself despite wanting a Godly family you give yourself to men who have no use for God and you end up veering further away from God and hurting?

9. Has sex, rejection, lies and emotional instability left you confused and you look back and see years of your precious life wasted?

OR

10. Are you proud of the choices in your love life? Are you committed to a good man/husband?

The problem is, many ladies don't learn and so they keep repeating the same mistakes. Some ladies are not even intentional about the man they are with and so they just "find" themselves with a man. They wake up and find themselves in bed with a man who doesn't posses the qualities they want in a husband, or they find themselves in bed with a married man, or they find themselves in a friends with benefits situation, or they find themselves back with the ex they swore they would leave or they find themselves "in love" with more than one man.

She gets confused. The woman gets emotionally involved with a man she shouldn't, and because she has invested emotions, especially when sex or a child is involved, she doesn't know how to end it. But soon, circumstances lead the woman to hurt and she is forced to end the relationship.

Sometimes, if you don't have the guts to end a bad relationship, God will intervene and close that door for you. You will hurt for sometime but it is for your own good.

Lady, you need to learn to take charge of your destiny, don't just be tossed about by the wind.

Not every man who approaches you who is good looking, or successful, or romantic, or friendly, or single, or married but willing to accommodate you, or spiritual, or smooth talking or who gives you attention is worth committing to. The power to say YES or NO is in your hands. A man approaching is not doing you a favour for you to jump onboard without purpose. You are of value. Protect yourself.

Men will approach you on inbox, at work, in Church, in the streets, everywhere; don't be so desperate that you quickly play along. Relax. Get to know the man first. Discern.

Above all, find yourself first. Find yourself before you find your spouse. Many ladies choose wrongly because they don't know who they are. When you know your values, your principles, your vision for what family you want to have; you will choose the suitable man for you.

And when you do commit to a good man, remember that every relationship/marriage has its challenges. When things get tough, do not give up. Work on your marriage. Take responsibility for your relationship/marriage, no one forced you to commit to him.

© Dayan Masinde