This weekend, if all goes as planned, is the last one Baba Ngina will be spending in State House. Most likely, in the coming week, guys in his office will organise a sendoff party for him. And since he is not your usual low cadre worker, they won't gift him with a Black Mamba bicycle.
Neither will they buy him those portraits that some young men hawk along Uhuru highway since his portraits are everywhere. Instead, they will gift him with a swanky Swiss watch. When he is headed to days when time is no longer of urgent importance and time no longer equals money. But si ni life. If I were him, I would forget those office jokers and start clearing with relevant offices right away since junior State officers have a way of frustrating people after you leave office. Actually, following the retirement dues that you sweated for many years makes you age more than the actual work you put in there.
To that end, Baba Ngina should start by clearing with the taxman down at Times Towers. A moody civil servant hiding behind a counter will tell him to go to Ichaweri since that's where he acquired his PIN certificate. When he gets there, another equally moody civil servant will stare at a computer, print a statement then underline some details in red.
She will then disappear into the back office and come back and tell Baba Ngina that he owes the taxman some few thousand shillings since he didn't file his tax returns sometimes in the 90s.
"Kama uko na pesa kwa simu unaweza lipa na hii Paybill," she will quip.
Next, Baba Ngina will go to clear with his immediate employer. They will ask for his first letter of appointment, letter of first posting followed by the letter of promotion to the current cadre. Plus, his CPE certificate. At this point, he will shrug his shoulders and thunder 'Sasa mnataka nifanye nini?' Lastly, after running around for a month looking for this and that document, Baba Ngina will head to the pensions department, a batch of frayed yellowing documents tucked under his arms. He will ask a man in green dust coats and a mop the way to the general manager's office. The man will start small talk as he leads him to his boss's office. Then along the way, he will tell him, "Mzee ni wapi tulionana, unakaa familiar sana?"
Baba Ngina will find the boss gone for lunch. A clerk will ask him what he wants and he will say that he wants his files retrieved so that his documents can be attached.
The clerk will take years to search for his file while he will fidget on an old bench. The mopping man will appear and wonder loudly why he hasn't been helped.
With that, he will disappear into the clerk's office and within minutes, come with his mouldy file folder. As he hands the file to him, he will ask for 'za macho' or something for his little troubles.
The son of Jomo, being a man never to miss such moments of subtle irony, will chuckle, hug the man and squeeze him a kafinje because retirement is not the end of something but the beginning of something else.
njambigilbert@yahoo.com
